Saturday, October 22, 2005

Word on the street is that I'm nice

I was working at the bar last night and some upper-class bitches had something to say about my shirt. They’re regulars so I couldn’t tell them to shove their opinions up their asses.

Old wench: “Hey Billy, that T-shit that you’re wearing…”

Billy: “Yeah.”

Old wench: “Can you turn it inside out.”

I smiled.

Old wench: “I’m serious. It’s so not you. You’re such a sweet guy.”

Billy: “You really don’t know me, do you?”

Old wench: “You cannot wear that shirt working as a bartender.”

Billy: “Why not?”

Old wench: “Well, you might get in trouble.”

Billy: “Trouble?”

Old wench: “People might find it offensive. It is pretty rude you know. And it’s better that you hear it from us gals (gals ? wtf) than from somebody else.”

Billy: “Uhm, okay…”

Old wench: “It’s just not appropriate. We all thought the same thing as soon as you walked in.”

Yeah, you get that when you're sharing one brain with three friends. Dyke.

Billy: “Well, that’s your opinion. And the opinion of those bitches friends of yours. This shirt actually does show my personality. It’s funny. And I’m a funny guy. You shouldn’t take it seriously. And this is the first time anyone has commented on this shirt in a negative way. And also, I have worn this shirt at other jobs. It has never been a problem.”

Old wench: “All we’re saying is that it still isn’t appropriate and you should cover it up.”

Billy: “Again: that is your opinion. I’m not covering it up. There is no dress code and my boss says it’s fine. That is enough for me. I’m sorry if you feel insulted by my clothing, but that really says more about you than it does about me.”

Old wench: “But people will find it offensive.”

Billy: “No, you and your friends find it offensive. You are not ‘people’. I’m wearing the shirt. You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine. As long as I’m doing my job right, there is nothing you should complain about. And if you girls will excuse me, I have to get back to work.”


Billy: “So, would you 'gals' like another drink ?”

Old wench: “Yeah, on you maybe.”

Billy: “I’ll take that as a no.”

Come on people. What is this,1930 ? Some of us really need to lighten the fuck up.

And what was written on the t-shirt?


What else?

It's funny. I will fuck for coke. I am a bartender. I sell coke (among other things). You buy a coke from me. Give it back. And I'll fuck you.

It's ironic (is it?).

What is not funny about that ?

Sigh. I should've worn Snakey's 'REAL MEN DO MEN' shirt. Apparantly, that shirt is worth congratulating someone for.



Anonymous said...
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lc said...

i would spit in their faces and steal their seats. although i would only need one seat.. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. the point is they would have no where to sit and thus feel unwelcome! OWYEAH!

Billy the Bootlegger said...

you are hardcore. hardcore man.