Monday, April 04, 2005

Site disclaimer

  1. Welcome to, hereinafter called "the website". Billy, founder en sole author of the website, hereinafter called "BTB" thanks you for visiting and BTB hopes you enjoy your time here.
  2. By visiting this site you agree to all the terms and conditions that are hereinafter set forth. You also agree to all the terms and conditions that are not set forth.
  3. If you don’t agree with the conditions that are set forth, you may 1) File a formal complaint with the complaint department, 2) Jump off a fucking bridge, 3) Stop fucking your mother, or 4) Take the dick out of your ass and get a sense of humor. You douche.
  4. If you don’t agree with the conditions that are not set forth, you may 1) Telepathically send me a message stating that you do not agree (BTB will not be held responsible for lost or misdirected telepathic messages), 2) Send me a letter (BTB will not provide you with an address. Unless you are a dude. A hot dude. A hot slutty dude. A hot slutty dude with a huge cock. A hot slutty dude with a huge cock and no standards. A hot slutty dude with a huge cock, no standards, and the willingness to try anything in bed), 3) Stop fucking your mother, or 4) Go to hell. You whiny bitch.
  5. Any and all communications on this site, or communications arising from this site, become the exclusive property of BTB. By submitting your comment/email, you expressly agree to allow BTB to post the comment/email on the website and to take your communications horribly, horribly out of context. You also agree to allow the website to change words in your communication for the purpose of 1) Satire, 2) Humor, 3) Boredom, or 4) In order to make you sound like a racist asshole.
  6. The content of this website is not intended to be, in any form or fashion, any sort of legal advice or any attempt to create an attorney-client relationship. This is due mostly to the fact that BTB is not an attorney yet and thus does not know the law well enough. Although judging from experience, he probably knows the law better than a lot lawyers out there. Additionally, why the hell would he want to represent your guilty ass?
  7. This website expresses only those views held by BTB. It is not meant to express the views held by BTB’s law school, the law school’s employees, BTB’s classmates at the law school, anyone attending this school (including undergraduate, masters, or doctorate students), anyone employed by this school, BTB’s mistresses, boyfriends, significant other(s), white people, or midgets.
  8. By visiting, you hereby agree to send to BTB, within 2 weeks and by certified mail, the semi-conscious body of your first born child.
  9. If you have no first born child, you must send to BTB any of the following 1) $4,000, 2) The mostly conscious body of your favorite pet, 3) The unconscious body of the first born child of your next door neighbor, 4) Naked video of you (if you are a hot dude), or 6) Naked video of you and (an)other hot dude(s), or 7) Naked video, of a hot dude beating off (please note, only homemade video, and not commercial porn, will be accepted).
  10. You hereby agree that BTB may, at any time of day or any day of the year, call you while drunk in order to secure bail and/or bond.
  11. Provision number 10 will not apply to misdemeanor arrests.
  12. If BTB is required to go to trial you agree to contribute at least 10% of your yearly gross income to BTB’s defense fund.
  13. If BTB is found guilty, you agree to contribute an additional 10% of your yearly gross income in order to break BTB out of prison and provide him passage to a country that has no extradition treaty with the Netherlands. This fund will also be used to help BTB learn to speak the language, help BTB find housing and employment, and help BTB learn the local customs for purchasing hot male hookers.
  14. If you are an attractive dude and BTB is visiting your state, you agree to spend at least 3 hours in bed with BTB.
  15. The attractiveness of a dude will be determined solely by BTB. Your attractiveness score may change based solely upon the whims of BTB and any factors he deems appropriate. A partial, non-inclusive, list of factors include 1) Height, 2) Weight, 3) Dick size, 4) Sexual history, 5) Level of kinkiness, 6) Inebriation level of BTB and/or you, 7) The number of narcotic drugs and/or the amount of alcohol that BTB is currently taking/consuming.
  16. Any reference to BTB wanting to sleep with you shall not be construed as an offer but, instead, as a mere solicitation to bid. By bidding, BTB is not bound to accept, respond, or even try to refrain from laughing after looking at your sorry ass. The power of acceptance rests fully with BTB, BTB, Inc., and its subsidiaries. Acceptance is contingent upon approval by BTB’s board of directors, CEO, and all shareholders.
  17. Any controversy arising from this site will be governed by the law of the wolf. All disputes will be resolved by binding arbitration (that's right, ARBITRATION BITCH) held in Jamaica, or Cozumel, Mexico with all costs (including but not limited to airfare, lodging, meals, bar tab, hookers, marijuana, and cocaine) to be paid for by you. Arbitration will be governed by the uniform rules of Dodgeball as laid out by the National Amateur Dodgeball Association.
  18. At the discretion of BTB, BTB, Inc., or BTB Inc.’s board of directors the dispute may instead by tried in a court of law applying standard military tribunal rules. If this occurs, you will not have the assistance of counsel. But BTB will. So tough shit, asshole.
  19. You agree to be billed for your visits in monthly installements.
  20. BTB reserves the right to steal your credit card number in order to obtain access to porn sites that require credit cards. BTB also reserves the right to ruin your credit history and not be held liable.
  21. If you are offended by any content on this site you may, at your discretion 1) Fuck off, 2) Suck it bitch, suck it, 3) Go fuck yourself in the ass, or 4) Take it up the ass you whore.
  22. If you have any questions BTB is available to provide clarification on any points that require it. All inquiries should be accompanied by your credit card number and expiration date, your bank account number, the routing number from your personal checks, your social security number, your mother's maiden name, and, if male at least 3 pictures of you masturbating to this website.

Source: Naked Drinking Coffee

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