Monday, September 19, 2005

Straight talking

To: audioholic
From: LC

Hey babes,

Still willing to come to the party? It's free! And you can bring all your friends. You know that shit they say...the more, the merrier? Yeah...

Love your ass.

Attachment:



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To: LC
From: audioholic

Bitch,

you know I want to. Send me the details, k? I'll bring my bitches and shit. And I'm going to fuck you silly in the bathroom of course. We have to.

x The ass.

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To: audioholic
From: LC

Bitch, you want details? I sent you the fucking details in the flyer which I had attached to the previous mail dumb-ass. You can find every bit of information your ass will need on it.

Let me just say that maybe you should mention at the door that you are here for [sisters] birthday party. And well entrance is free. Drinks, other than the welcome drink, are not for obvious reasons.

I want you to dance and yes, we will fuck in the bathroom. Mike should just respect my choices.

Still loving your ass.

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To: audioholic
From: LC

O n plz come early (between 21:00 and 21:30) because that DJ will rock yr world I tell ya.

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To: LC
From: audioholic

Got it. I'm an idiot. And you are so fucking hot.

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Morning intellect

The Boyfriend asleep in bed. My ass already up and showered, ready to go and do work and shit.

ME: Babe, I'm going to get my shit together and then I'll be back to say goodbye.
The Boyfriend: Hmmmm...
ME: I''ll be right back, okay?
The Boyfriend: Hmmmm...
ME: Right back.
The Boyfriend: (All sleepy) Are you coming back?
ME: No.
The Boyfriend: (Really sad and hungover) No?
ME: Hehe. I will.
The Boyfriend: Hmmmm.
ME: Yeah.

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Fuck her hard on IM

ME: ho's n bitches
LC: hellooo darling
ME: life is good ?
LC: it's alright
ME:
good
LC: is yours doing fine?
ME: it is kinda fine
ME: it will be
LC: that's great
ME:
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/daftpunk.php
ME: it is hilarious
LC: i love that song
LC: you have it ?
LC: i want it
ME: yahu! i gots it
ME: but sends it to me please
LC: sends it to what
ME: my ass
LC: wtf you dumb-ass?
ME: oh
ME: i thought you said
ME: you had it
ME: and if i wanted it
ME: up the ass
LC: well i would give it to you
LC: up the ass
LC: but i don't have it
ME: that blows
ME: erva take your clothes off early
ME: too funny
LC: i know
LC: kicks gay ass
ME: what you up to ? got homework?
LC: yeah but i don't feel like doing it
ME: me neither
ME: i'm way behind
ME: classes started just last week
ME: i'm gonna fail this year for being lazy and stupid. pretty much old news
ME: frankly
ME: i don't really care, unlike my parents who do care
ME: why? they’re not paying for it all.
LC: yes they are, but you shouldn't care
LC: life's too short
ME: ture
ME: *true
ME: see I'm way behind
ME: i'm writing ‘ture’
ME: dumb-ass
LC: being dumb is hardcore
LC: and i know that shit's ture
LC: ok WEIRD
LC: i just got called by dutchcasting agency
LC: APARENTLYYYYYYYYYYY i got signed up
LC: they have my details
LC: but the fact is.. my sister is actually under that agency
LC: i don't know what they are doing with my details
LC: DID YOU SECRETLY SIGN ME UP
LC: WHAT'S GOING ON
ME: they are going to whore your ass out for cheap money and, yes i did
ME: you are hot
ME: beautiful
ME: willing and able
ME: and a fucking model
ME: you are going to america's next slut model
LC: i would so win that shit
ME: you co(c)ke whore
LC: im the perfect slut of america
ME: yes you are
ME: and then rachel stevens is going to sue your ass for stealing her look
ME: and making it hawt and skinny
LC: rachel stevens should walk the fuck away
LC: i top her
LC: and you should be my stylist so you can make as much money as me but less
ME: of course
ME: rachel is feces compared to you
ME: FECES I'll tell ya
LC: haha
LC: feces in the deepest sense of the word
ME: yes, still up ones ass that is
ME: a gay ass
LC: dinner is served
LC: i'm off
LC: LOVE Y ASS
ME: fuck
ME: I’m hungry too. You should feed your stylist you fuckette
LC: my stylist will not be a lard-ass. have sip of nothing. and then throw up. and you should be gay. ├╝ber gay. just because. work on that.
LC: bye lovaaaaaah

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Update: From now on I will be referred to as 'The Bootlegger'. Or 'Billy the Bootlegger'. Or 'the guy whose name I forgot but I know he gives the greatest head and has a 9" penis'. Anyway Audioholic is temporarily dead until further notice. Love my ass!

4 comments:

marriedman said...

I just creamed myself reading that. Thank you so much bootlegger.

Billy the Bootlegger said...

You are welcome and it is my pleasure. Making people cream is very fulfilling.

marriedman said...

I agree, all the ladies cream when they see my profile picture, and then when they read my blawg, they cream some more. It's neato!!

Billy the Bootlegger said...

NEATO! That was the word I was looking for. Damn marriedman, you are so smart.