Saturday, September 10, 2005

Curt's fucking ugly and we hate him

People. I do not fucking look like Curt Fortin. Check this, this, this, this and this. He's suppposed to be some kind of Dutch celeb (and I use the term 'celeb' loosely of course). He's been on soap operas, is a presenter of TOTP, sang with Phil Collins and all kinds of crap like that.

People always seem to confuse the two of us and I can't imagine why. Today was an especially weird day. People were staring at me and all that. And two girls were giggling on the train and tried to fucking take my picture on the sly. WTF! It must have something to do with my new hair and the fact that Curt has a new commercial out on some kiddie channel. He's on the tv like every 15 minutes. WHY?

This, this and this is me. We do not look alike. At all.

I think his nose is bigger and he's from a completely different race. And the fact that he's ugly and I'm not makes us all the more different.

The thing about him that really annoys me is the fact that he has a lousy English accent and cannot even speak accentless Dutch. The retard has been living here forever. Spend your money on a vocal coach and a media trainer. Leave the ugly-soap buddy boy.

And don't even try to be semi-intellectual in interviews. Faking intelligence is not the way to go when you're lousy at it.

What also pisses me off is that The Boyfriend thinks he's hot and wants to do him over and over and over again. Even after he meeting him at the studio last week while working and finding out he has very bad skin, is kind of fat and is about 4"1 short. If that's a turn-on than I can't blame The Boyfriend for being hooked on me.

In conclusion: I speak fluent accentless Dutch and English, have an IQ of 138 and my cock is bigger than yours. So ha! I rule all. You don't. Mini-wave for me. Up yours you social reject.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about this very important subject matter*.

And I'm so not jealous tough...honest!

Yours unfaithfully as always,

AH.



*By 'thoughts' I naturally mean all thoughts that say I'm way hotter than this d-listed celeb midget that is Curt.

5 comments:

The Snakehead said...

Actually you guys do look a like. A lot. You should find out if you two are brothers separated at birth.

Kirsti said...

You look like him a wee bit.. But you are way hotter, of course. I had to save your photo and I am not afraid to admit it. And also. My boyfriend's cock is bigger than yours

Billy the Bootlegger said...

Snakey - I have never hated you more.

Kirsti - Nobody has a bigger cock than me.

The Snakehead said...

Awww, and I love you too.

Alterego said...

I'd do him.
And my cock IS bigger than yours. You told me so yourself.