Friday, August 12, 2005

@#$@%@$&^*#^**&^$@

It's 7:14 and I'm already wide awake.

The Boyfriend just called. He got mugged in Amnesia in a crowded bathroom. A VIP bathroom for fuck's sake. At least, that's what he's telling me. I don't buy it. He keeps changing his story: first he got pushed, then he tells me he got held by two guys, then he says he had nothing to drink, then one glass of wine and now two. And then he tells me his passport got stolen, so I asked: "How come your passport got stolen, it doesn't fit in your pocket or your wallet?"

He answered: "Oh, my passport didn't get stolen, I got it right here."

Then he tells me he lost every single person of his party and that he spent 3 hours looking for them after the mugging. That also doesn't make sense, because we spoke on the phone right before his phone got stolen. He called me about half an hour after to tell me all this. So he did not in fact spend 3 hours looking for people.

He also told me he thinks they might be looking for him at Amnesia. So I asked: "Why didn’t you stay then?"

To which he replied: "They weren't there anymore. They were cleaning the place up already."

The man is completely wasted and he is bugging the hell out of me. Get your facts straight and stop fucking lying to me. What the hell do you take me for?

Jezus Christ

I just called his phone provider, they're blocking his account. Oh, he just called. His friend got back to the hotel. She had his wallet. So really, he just lost his phone. Motherfucker, I am so pissed at him. I told him not to drink alcohol in combination with his antibiotics and his Ibuprofen, aspirin and penicillin. But no, don’t listen to me. I only have an IQ of 140. I cannot possibly be right about anything.

Goddamn.

Fucking asshole. Calling me up at 7am from a foreign country telling me he got mugged, when in fact he was just too drunk to keep track of his belongings.

I can't think straight. Have to stay awake until 8 to get confirmation form his provider about the phone blocking.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15 comments:

Berk said...

maybe, hes hiding something from you... yep, def.!

Anonymous said...
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Billy the Bootlegger said...

Mark - Geez, just what I needed to hear. I don't think he's hiding anything. I think he's embarrassed to tell me I was right about the whole alcohol thing. Maybe I should’ve been more supportive. I did make him feel even more crappy than he already felt. And I can’t fucking reach him now.

Mikee – thank you for the comment. Personally, I wish I didn’t have to write this post…

Alterego said...

So this is the latest thing? SPAM in posts??? Geeezzz.. what's the world getting to?

Your bf was too embarassed to tell you that he got drunk of his ass, while he know he shouldn't have. I'd put in an application for the AA, if I were you.

The Snakehead said...

Awww, you're horny. I can tell. Want me to come over?

Kirsti said...

Honey with a boyfriend like that you'll never lack blog material. Goddamit I miss Andy that way. If he had just moved here I could have had one blog dedicated to him!

Billy the Bootlegger said...

A.E - I know, I saw it later. Hey, they're looking at my blog. that's all I need to know.

He just called, kat night the wine went wrong. He swears he had only two. I believe him, since he never drinks. What happened was that we were text messaging all night and when he was taking a leak he put his phone on some ledge (DUMB-ASS). Then he got a shove and felt someone holding him from the back (nice!) and before he knew it his phone was gone. It was too crowded to see what had happened...

Snakey (I may call you Snakey right? Hell, I('ll) do it anyway. Snakey, how did you know!? I find it very very creepy.

Kirsti - kisses 'n hugs from all the fags in the Netherlands (and let me tell you, there are a lot of those). Hope you feel better now with all the gay-lovin' 'n all.

Anonymous said...
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Billy the Bootlegger said...

WTF SPAM ON BLGOS! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!

And my blog isn't even about female hairloss, although it does sound interesting.

Any thoughts?

Kirsti said...

Shave your legs. Hell. wax them. SEND PICTURES

Billy the Bootlegger said...

I am not shaving my legs. I ain't no fag or a woman.

Let me check...

No, I am all male. Shaving my genitals and my armpits is enough, hmkay?

The Snakehead said...

Yes, you can call me Snakey.

I know because I'm psychic like that.

Billy the Bootlegger said...

QUICK! What am I thinking?

Kirsti said...

Please stop shaving your armpits

Right now.

For me. Do it for me

Billy the Bootlegger said...

Actually, I haven't in a while. Eeeew, it's all hairy.

Anyhoo, I like my pits shaved. And I do it for The Boyfriend really. This way sucking my armpits (after showering of course) is a lot more pleasant. AND I LIKE IT!