Saturday, May 21, 2005

pop idol reject

Yay, Prins is coming over tonight. I'm gon' have sex people! I need it. I haven't had it since Monday. People should have sex everyday. Unless they’re just really fat, old, pimply and smelly. They shouldn’t. But I’m none of that. So I need it and deserve it.

I could have had sex last night. And I was pretty damn horny too. Well according to Rob I'm always horny, but I'm just a healthy young man. I mean, just last week I helped myself during class. Not IN class, but during, in the bathroom. What kind of pervert do you take me for? Or would you like me to walk around with a hard-on all day. Believe me, people are going to stare (don’t ask)…well unless your in one of them gay clubs. Then it would be okay. You’d blend right in.

Anyhow, some police man guy I used to sorta date, tried to chat me up yet again, last night. And I’m not one to disappoint anyone, so I played the game. Damn, the dirty things I could’ve made him do. Too bad, I didn’t want him to. He is such a sad individual. I turn him down every time and every time he fails to see my sarcasm. It’s been going on for months. And every time he’s tryna talk me into bed, the guy’s always trying to make me jealous…jealous of what? i'm not jealous of the fact that you're dating a very ugly gayish pop idol reject. I mean, i was a pop idol reject! And the guy has no upper lip! It's all teeth! And I'm not jealous of the fact that you think all your hot male police men colleagues are gay and want to do you. Cuz they're not and you just think everybody is gay. And even if they were, why would they be interested in you anyway? Okay, you are kinda hot, I’ll give you that. But I for sure as hell don’t need someone who has an IQ lower that his shoe size. And also, the sex was only so-so (man, get a lesson in sucking $%#$), therefore no need for a do over (pun intended). Plus I’m in a committed relationship (ugh…I hate that word). Don’t you just love it when people grovel for you. Thank you, thank you all.

Well, Rob has left the country. This morning he took a plane to Portland and it’s gonna be a blast (literally). A business trip, lucky bastard. He has already found some piece of hot ass he could nail. Nathan from some kind of restaurant in Portland. I have to hand it to him, the man does do his research well. I also believe he’s paying some guy in Seattle a visit (and by visit I mean they’re gonna screw each others brains out). Yes, Rob knows how to have a good time.

Final thoughts? To the dude who is always trying to get me into bed: not everyone is gay and you suck cuz u can't (suck). And I wish everyone happy humping!

4 comments:

Kirsti said...

Dude.. about helping yourself in class.. like i know of this girl.. and she was.. helping herself. Litterally IN class. And pen.. and lid.. off. In her. And she had to explain all this to her class before she was allowed to leave to see her doctor. Sorry, felt like sharing this story.

Billy the Bootlegger said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Billy the Bootlegger said...

Kirsti that is just wrong! Everyone knows you should never put a pen in there...

Kirsti said...

IT WASN'T ME! It was a scottish Girl! Them damned Brits!