Monday, October 03, 2005

Comment skank

LC:
bitch, it took me ages to get to this fucking comment page. if you want lazy people to comment on your daily frustrations then PLZ make this journey a little more bearable. i mean like... link it to the first page. whatever. thanks for getting that kelly cuntson cd for my sister. dunno how much you must have spent on it, but if it was a lot i apologize for exploiting your ass to please my sister. i'll be so wasted on that party, i might fall in love with your ass. please be wasted too. or i'll have your ass kicked out by security. you know i own that shithole. so i can do that. PEACE OUT HOMO!

Billy the Bootlegger:
Bitch, get a fucking brain. Commenting is not a freaking nuclear science. What the fuck else does “put in your two cents mean” ? You probably thought I meant up my ass. Well I didn’t.

I’m making shit as bearable as possible.

And if it’s that fucking difficult for you to find the goddamn comment link then I don’t fucking even want your stupid gay ass here.

And you are welcome. I am da shit. I bought your cuntlike sister the Kelly Cuntson CD. And yes, Behind These Hazel Cunts and Since U Been Cunt are on it.

Smile like you’re happy and go the fuck nuts.

I spent lots of money on it. My gay ass has never been so broke. And did that sound a little bit dirty? Anyway, I’m going to be the hot shit at the party because of the hot ass gift and your sister is going to love my hot ass and want to fuck me silly in the hot bathroom. And so will you.

We are going to get hella wasted, make lots of pretty babies, swap STD’s and exploit my ass like hell.

It is going to be fan-tas-tic!

By the way: The Boyfriend is coming with. Is yours too? We could so totally swing.

12 comments:

Paws said...

Sounds like Hamsterjam is every bit as fun as I've heard.

If you're queer.

Alterego said...

I agree with your friend. The pop-up commentbox is sooooo much easier and fun!

OK, never mind, just sitting here at the office, totaly bored. Enough to do, but don't feel like acting on it.

Entertain me and my punani, will ya?

LC said...

so it is pretty obvious alterego wants to fuck me silly too, else alterego would not agree with me. i know i have to get me a fucking brain, but i rather waste my money on martini's and asses that look like yours. life is much more fun when you are stupid and ignorant. REALLY. and YES the boyfriend is coming. just not as early as all my REAL FRIENDS, because the shithole has to work till 9. he can be such a cunt at times. i clearly recall i specifically mentioned the very important fact that the HAWT PARTY starts at 9 and i needed him to be there 9 sharp because i need a full dance floor else the dj will think we are stupid friend-less people and cut the show (yes, he can do that). you would think my dear boy-friend would come up with the smartest idea ever which is to fuck the boss so he can get off work early. BUT NOOO. he should get a brain too. but he rather spends his money on me. which is logical.

LC said...

by the way, today dr phil's tip of the day was "swinging is not a solution to sexual problems within your relationship or marriage"

Billy the Bootlegger said...

Yes, AlterEgo is as queer as me but also wants to fuck you silly. Just like all gays. You are a goddess and we are your eternal slaves.

Oh smite us you almighty whore of divinity.

It’s smart to spend money on martini’s and asses like mine. They are second and third best thing in the world. #1 being you of course.

I always said your boyfriend was a shithole. A douche. And a bum. And he's too lazy too fucking sleep with his boss anyway. Who the fuck doesn't fuck their boss? We should so trade him in for Jude Law. Or Ryan Phillippe. Or Dominic Monaghan.

Did I tell you about my recent obsession with David Coulthard? OMG he is so fucking hot. Just not very photogenic at times. But still hot. I’d so shoot my wad on him.

Hell, I’d shoot my wad on anyone really. Your sister’s next. Boy is she in for some finger licking good man juice.

My ass and my peeps will be at the COOLEST PARTY EVER at 9:15pm sharp. Fo shizzle. I swear and promise. And not a promise like: “I’ll call you.” Or “I’ll pick you up at 9”. Or “Yes, I will get you out of jail as soon as possible.”

GODDAMN, I was still drunk. Don’t ask me to post bail when I’m drunk. Or horny. Or asleep.

Anyway, it’s a REAL promise. My first one. You should be honoured. The party is gonna kick big gay Al’s big gay ass and I’m going to get tha party started fo sho!

I’m such a gangsta.

By the way: who the fuck cares about what the DJ thinks? We are not going to fuck him. So we don’t need him. So we shouldn’t care about what he thinks.

Hell, we don’t even care about what people think that we do use...need. I meant to say need. Or love. No, I meant use.

Of course we need him for the "music". But my sweet dear little minx, The Boyfriend is a DJ. And he’s a hundred fucking times better than the clit. And he has a nine inch cock. He’ll bring his records and he’ll blow the reject DJ the fuck away. And after, he'll make all your girl/boyfriends orgasm like they have never orgasmed before.

Baboosh! (Thanks BryanBoy)

Billy the Bootlegger said...

Dr. Phill is a hack. Swinging is the only way to solve marital problems.

Well, that and sleeping with coke whores, male strippers, your significant other's hot sister/brother or your hung neigbour.

And if you're lucky, like me, they are all the same person. It just keeps things simple.

LC said...

o n did i mention i have indirectly invited one of my classmates who happens to be gay and working at LINDA. he never really told me he is gay, but i can tell by the way he waves his queer little hand and draws silly little flowers everytime he gets the chance, and ofcourse because he works at LINDA.. anyway, i think we will have enough queers to start an orgie on the sofas. don't confront him with the fact that he might be gay. if he sees you and wants to fuck you silly i think he will tell you himself.

Billy the Bootlegger said...

Fuck-ass! LINDA. is so freaking hot. It is the best magazine around.

Billy loves himself some LINDA.

And the bitch herself is quite fuckable also. Especially when she's doing that Linda and Beau crap on Talpa.

That shit is dope and they should so get it on during live TV.

Anyhoo, how will I know your class mate's gay? Everyone has been wanting to fuck me silly lately. They all want a piece of the Bootlegger.

I can't blame them though...

And it doesn't even matter whether he's gay or not. He wants to do me good and that is enough.

Alterego said...

I'd fuck anything silly. Except for social rejects and objects that don’t breathe.

I still don't understand your fascination for David C. Damn, that fucker is ugly! I have the suspicion that we will never have to fight over men.

Try these for some piece of fine ass:

Go to www.nikepro.com then to Extra’s and select picture # 6, which is my new desktop-pic. Cristiano Ronaldo.. now that’s a real hunk for ya!

And you know what “hunk” means: I will let him fuck me silly.

Then, if you want cute: try google: “jai queer eye”. Jai Rodriguez, one of the Fab Five on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Sweeeeet!

And you know what “sweet” means: I will fuck him silly.

Ah, finally, they sent someone over to fix the fucking climate control in the office. Been freezing my ass off this week! Wankers.

My final thought: any kind of sex, besides sex with your partner, is a solution to sexual problems within your relationship or marriage. In fact, even if you don’t have any sexual problems whatsoever, it’s a good thing to fuck around with others.

I sounds sooooo Jerry Springer.

Billy the Bootlegger said...

Yeah, you would fuck anything silly. Nasty ass.

I want to you to stay away for at least ten feet from my cats and my mom. Not even yours is that long.

Thank God we will never have to fight over men. Cristian has a syndrom of down face. And Jai has beady little eyes and is a tiny bit cross-eyed. But I'm biased because I only like them white English blokes like Dominic Monaghan. Although I’ll take Gavin Henson over all of them them any day.

And yes, Gavin kind of has a weird-looking face. But I love weird faces. They’re hot.

And this ‘fucking silly’ thing has to stop. It’s getting old. We need a new phrase. I really liked the ‘kicks gay ass’ theme. Kicking gay ass is loads of fun.

Anyhoo, AlterEgo, you a nasty fuck who has probably ‘kicked’ a lot of gay asses and I applaud you for it.

Fucking around with others is totally the solution to any problem you’ll ever face in life.

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