I'm a chef

I totally just cooked. Well, I came this close to cooking. Which is like, amazing. I made a fucking meal - well, side dish, but still. I sliced the cucumber and pineapple, diced the carrots and the tomatoes and I only cut myself twice. After al the slicing and dicing I added Italian black truffle olive oil and lettuce and then I mixed it all up into this little masterpiece I like to call...a salad.

Please, don't hesitate to to email me for the recipe and preparation instructions. I hope that some day, you will all be great cooks, just like me. And don't be intimidaded by my masterful skills, it took me a lot of watching the cooking channel. And you know what? Next time, I might even wash my hands.


Ps: I'll let you know whether or not anybody has had convulsions and/or has died.