i write shit, not literature

Moving day

2007-03-07T17:07:00.000+01:00

For those who give a shit,

I'm hauling my ass to myspace:

myspace.com/billythebootlegger

With regards,

Billy

Daytime TV is high-quality

2006-12-19T12:01:00.001+01:00

"A 1000 ~~bucks~~ euros ! Wouldn't that be a great way to start your day ?!"

Bitch please, it's fucking noon. The only two people that start their day at 12pm is me, because I'm good for nothing, and you, because apparently you're tired from sucking various cocks all night. I guess we all gotta make a living somehow right?

Seriously, she's having a live anxiety attack slash coke fit, but hey, that's what you get for putting girls on daytime game TV who will work for a gram of cheap coke mixed with cut up Nestlé Strawberry Quick.

Bitch, you can't get away with that, you're no Lindsay Lohan.

"I am so high ya'll!"

"I look pretty right? Everybody always says I'm pretty."

"Insert - coke - here. And I don't snort, I push it in there. That's hot."

"These boxes like, feel sooooo nice."

"Duuuuude. Get me some lines, my high is like totally wearing off already."

"Say what? Hell to the no, you're not cutting me off until the next caller!"

"Oh my gaw, you are all tryna get me! And I ain't paranoid or nothing! What's that noise?!"

"And what the fuck you looking at bitch? I will cut you!"

"I'm just playin'. Please call me. You can totally play with my vaJayJay 'n all that."

Criminal law is a cunt

2006-12-18T22:14:00.000+01:00

Yeah, remember when I was all "I'm so fucking smart, I'll ace this midterm"? If you don't, believe me, I was that person. So I had my midterm today and let me tell you, she was a bitch. A big bitch. I had about 3 hours and it was not enough. Not by a long shot. Although I was one of the few people who actually finished the damn thing, I didn't answer every question the way I could and would have if I had more time. I did know the answers but I had to rush through the case files like a mother fucker.

Whoever claimed Red Bull increases your concentration and energy was talking out of his ass.

I'm one of them

2006-12-17T11:59:00.000+01:00

Yeah, I have a myspace now. I know I said myspace sucked huge gay cock, and I'm still saying that, but it's actually kinda nice too. It's a nice sucking, okay?

Anyway, visit Billy, leave him a message, listen to the most beautiful music ever created, whatever you think is right.

Click here to visit heaven.

Paris Hilton is a slut

2006-12-16T12:27:00.000+01:00

I now realise that calling Paris Hilton a slut is the purest form of all semantic pleonasms, but for the heck of it, let's just say the redundancy emphasizes the fact that she's a slut and that the title is also kinda meant to deceive you. If I were to call this post "I like some of Paris Hilton's song on her album" you'd want to...well, not read it and gay bash me.

So yeah, Paris' voice ~~sometimes~~ hardly ever doesn't sound like nails on a chalk board and is always devoid of any emotion whatsoever - well, except for "whiny" if that were an emotion - but seriously, it's not all crap. And I mean that purely objectively: there are some good productions on her album which do not induce an immediate desire to drive a stake through my heart. Not to kill though, but to shift the pain.

This all doesn't take away the fact that Paris is a slut, but a hot slut because she's too stupid to know she is one and doesn't give a shit. I for sure would love to get her drunk and frisky. I mean, who are we kidding? Yeah, you know we'd all hit it - with a baseball glove around our #&%$ we would. And afterwards, she would buy me something pretty. You know, because I give so much pleasure.

And here's Reflekt ft. Delline Bass with Need to feel loved. Just because they are not Paris Hilton, don't have herpes (that we know of) and make beautiful music.

Finally made a choice

2006-12-15T19:59:00.000+01:00

I've decided to get my Master's Degree in Criminal Law after I get my Bachelor's Degree. I had been in doubt for a while, not knowing whether to choose European Law, International Law, Business Law, Civil Law or Criminal Law.

Well, I found out I fucking hate all treaties and regulations and pretty much anything to do with supranational law and I pretty much suck hard at Business Law, mainly because I don't give a shit. I do like Civil Law but the formal procedures are just too difficult to comprehend, mainly because I don't give a shit.

So criminal law it is. Getting paid to fight to be right in official proceedings is kinda hot. I like being right. And people will like me. Because I'm funny. I'm gonna be a badass litigator.

Who knows, someday I might be a DA or even better - a judge. I would be strict, but just. And you are allowed to sleep with hot suspects right?

The Zombies are in town

2006-10-28T18:21:00.000+02:00

Dude. The Zombies are doing a small gig downtown on Tuesday, October 31st. Why wasn't I told? It sold out in like fifteen minutes. The Zombies are awesome. Hell, I only know Time of the Season, but that song is on my life's soundtrack. Yeah, my life has a soundtrack. And it kicks ass.

The Stone Roses - I wanna be adored

2006-10-26T18:12:00.000+02:00

Dance Department presents Cocoon

2006-10-21T12:45:00.000+02:00

Amsterdam Dance Event took place this week and yesterday I went hard drunk on Sven Väth and Ricardo Villalobos at club The Sand, just outside downtown Amsterdam. It was pret-ty awesome. The DJ sets will be featured in either the Dance Department Podcast or the radio show in the next few weeks.

I’m sick now though and I have a big ass boo-boo in my head and in the back of my throat. One should never go clubbing when falling ill, it’s really bad. Midterms start next week, so yeah, my timing to start drinking again is excellent as usual.

This is why I am pro-suicide

2006-10-17T22:18:00.000+02:00

"BE warned: Peter Andre and Jordan's appalling new duet is four minutes and twenty-two seconds you will never get back."

The coke burned away his cartilage which made his nose collapse and apparently it made her tone deaf. Don't do drugs!

And yeah, I know labelling this post under "music" is kinda out there.

Source: Dlisted and The Daily Telegraph

Tofu my ass, that rocks

2006-10-17T15:45:00.000+02:00

Remember Popular? If not, shame on you! You've been missing out. Mary Cherry is the shit.

And don't be fooled by all the crying, wait for it!

Happy camper

2006-10-13T20:43:00.000+02:00

I've been told that after both people participating in the sex (me being one of two on a good day) have gotten off, I laugh. And I don't mean laughing as in cracking a smile - I mean, when I'm having sex all I do is smile. But I actually laugh - out loud - really hard. And it doesn't happen when I'm alone...you know...having the sex by myself.

Seriously, what the fuck is up with that?

College fun

2006-10-12T23:27:00.000+02:00

"Freak", I whisper to Ryan.

"I know! What'chu lookin’ at punk?"

There's this guy sitting in front of us at some lecture that's about…the law probably. He keeps looking over his shoulder as if he's looking for somebody, but we were on the last row… And to make matters worse, ugly weird guy starts hitting on cute, pretty girl sitting a seat away. Dude is wearing a shirt made out of fabric I don’t even know what it’s called, but the last person I saw wearing that, is my dead grandpa. And not even he was caught dead in it. Now I don’t really care about other people’s clothes, but dude looks rough and dirty.

"Is he seriously trying to share his books with her," I ask.

"Aaah, it's the oldest trick in the book." Ryan sighs. "No pun intended."

"Yeah, we all know how many times that got you laid…”.

Pretty girl didn't decline but she also didn't want to do him right then and there either. Amateur. She was nonchalant about it but strangely enough not disgusted or anything. Ugly weird guy keeps staring at her and trying to make eye contact. Last I checked we were at a lecture. People are either sleeping, getting high (it happened), looking stoned out the window (happens a lot) or jerking off (that was once). Searching for eye contact is useless. And besides, why would anybody be looking at him…except for us.

Sad as this whole situation is, he then proceeded to write her a note…on a ripped piece of paper. I ain't shitting you.

"You have got to be kidding me. A note? Where the hell am I, seventh grade?" I whisper perhaps a bit too loud. Damn my parents for giving me this amazingly deep and manly voice.

"You wrote notes...to girls...in seventh grade?"

"I might have. I also used to like little girls back then - and I don't mean that in a way that's as gross as it actually sounds."

"..."

"Is he - is he asking her out?" I ask with utter disbelief.

"Yeah," Ryan responds while trying to read the tiny note that passed hands, "it says something like ‘would it be cool if…’”.

"…we got together and bumped uglies? Literally in his case. What the fuck, she's actually writing him back. Didn't she take her meds this morning? She'd better telling him to take a fucking hike. What'd she write?"

God, I’m so into other people’s shit. Probably because my own life is so very unsatisfying. Well, that’s what my shrink keeps telling me.

"She says sure." Ryan says a little bit annoyed.

"You're lyin'!"

"Am not. And I don’t give a shit really."

"Okay, do you not find this human interaction at all interesting?”

“…”

“…anyway, mutey. She could do so much better. Doesn't she have any self esteem? I mean, I'd do her. And I dont't even like the kitty cats."

"Maybe she's just not shallow." Ryan says in such a manner as if I'm supposed to know it’s the smartest thing to ever come from a person’s mouth.

"Or – maybe she's just an idiot. And I resent that you're implying I'm shallow."

"You are shallow."

"Well, tell it behind my back like everyone else does."

"Look," Ryan says, "They're exchanging e-mail addresses. you're right, this shit's more intriguing than an Agatha Christie novel..."

"E-mail is for geeks and pedophiles."

"We use email."

"Yeah...for college and shit."

"Right..."

"And it's not like I go up to guy and ask for his e-mail address on a note to get into his pants", I say. People turn their heads. I seriously need to not speak so loud. I'm sure it could get embarassing at some point. "E-mail? What the fuck is up with that?"

"Well duh, it's different for you homos".

"..."

"You guys just do it."

Class in session

2006-10-09T20:39:00.000+02:00

I had a Law Philosophy seminar today and it was very...uhm, interesting. Now, not a lot of what the Prof. was talking about really made it into my head, since I was pretty distracted by this hot guy walking outside, but I did pick up something about military men having sex with each other in times of war to increase their strength.

I vote: yes.

And I'm sure the seminar was about more than men having sex, but after that remark I was even more gone than before. Seriously, if you're into all things gay, you should definitely take this class. I'm pretty sure Plato is just a big flaming homo.

This paper is going to be excellent.

I'm a chef

2006-10-08T17:46:00.000+02:00

I totally just cooked. Well, I came this close to cooking. Which is like, amazing. I made a fucking meal - well, side dish, but still. I sliced the cucumber and pineapple, diced the carrots and the tomatoes and I only cut myself twice. After al the slicing and dicing I added Italian black truffle olive oil and lettuce and then I mixed it all up into this little masterpiece I like to call...a salad.

Please, don't hesitate to to email me for the recipe and preparation instructions. I hope that some day, you will all be great cooks, just like me. And don't be intimidaded by my masterful skills, it took me a lot of watching the cooking channel. And you know what? Next time, I might even wash my hands.

Ps: I'll let you know whether or not anybody has had convulsions and/or has died.

Bus-ay

2006-10-06T23:25:00.000+02:00

I'm in way over my head with this whole going to college thing and trying to get my degree in economics and law. I'm really, like, not that smart.

I need a tutor. Tutors are a good thing. You can even sleep with them when they're hot. But wouldn't that make them whores when I'm paying them by the hour?

Food for thought.

Girls Aloud - Something kinda ooh oooh ooooh

2006-09-22T21:25:00.000+02:00

Hot song, bad, bad, bad video.

Faq

2006-09-22T21:11:00.000+02:00

Why are those gay men that show up in the media, furiously fighting for equal rights and respect and shit like that, alway so fucking annoying?

Please tell me. Hell, I like dick and not even I can bring myself not to want to beat them silly.

Press Release

2006-09-12T23:49:00.000+02:00

Van Diepen's Dance Department Podcast Reaches one millionth download

Hilversum, the Netherlands, September 12th 2006 - The leading Dutch dance music show Dance Department, on Radio 538, has already reached her 1 millionth podcast download. Since September 2005 , English spoken enhanced podcasts have been made available to the national and international public. The podcast, presented by Wessel van Diepen, is an exclusive mix featuring the latest dance records and a half hour guest performance by one of the world's top DJs. The Dance Department podcast has been a worldwide success, making its distinctive and lasting mark on the American and Canadian Podcast Top 15 charts, among others.

***

Ps: I didn't literally translate the original Dutch press release though. Why? Cuz it sucked and contained incorrect information and weird phrasing. Not that I'm all that, but compared to the people of the press, I'm freaking Proust. And yeah, FYI, I know who Proust is - I absolutely loved Moby Dick.

My phone carrier blows

2006-08-16T11:13:00.000+02:00

I'm still waiting for my new phone to arrive - Samsung x820:

It's so damn tiny! To be exact: 113x50x6.9mm. Don't hate me for using the metric system, I'm European ya'll! And the best part is, because it's so tiny it makes my dick look huge and it also has great specs.

Yes, I may have betrayed my beloved Nokia, but damn, try and make a decent cell phone sometime - we'll see how it goes from there.

But anyway, I ordered it last Friday and it ain't here yet. Sure, they said 4 to 6 work days, but it's 11:09am on the fourth day and I kinda expected it to be here...well, yesterday.

It's so hard waiting on stuff to arrive.

And people say I'm impatient. I think I've been patient enough. That UPS man is gonna get it - and not in a good way.

I don't like you in any way

2006-08-14T12:50:00.000+02:00

I know everybody has an opinion about “critics”. Personally, I think no one is able to please them and I could fill and waste endless amounts of web space bitching about them and telling you why critics are the scum of the earth, mostof them bringing people down without ever having produced anything of themselves. The fact remains that “Toy Story 2” is the best movie of all time on rottentomatoes.com, and that pretty much says all we need to know about these “experts".

I'm a good neighbour

2006-08-12T17:55:00.000+02:00

~~This family~~ These socially retarded freaks that live across the street from us have been trying to park their caravan [is that what it's called in English too?] on their driveway for about 45 minutes now. I suppose I should help them. The father can't drive for shit. He's making his turns to sharp and keeps almost hitting the front of the caravan with the rear of his car.

God I hope they hit a wall. Or a kid. Or plural.

I hate caravans. They imply camping. And I hate camping even more. It's the 21st century - get a hotel room. At least than you'll have basic plumbing at least...and room service.

They look so sad out there in the rain. When you see them, you’ll immediately see that they are campers. They give off this - vibe. This "I like nature and nature likes me so we don't shower for weeks and stink up our mobile home for three weeks - when we're not cycling or shit like that" vibe. And they probably play board games together. And talk. That's even worse than camping.

Some families are just disfunctional.

I have to go now because I think my mom broke her house arrest - again.

Ps: and for those who are "offended" by the word "retard" or some other conjugation of that word - I'm not using it to insult anyone. Because I don’t call real retards retards. I call them “mentally disabled”. Or stupid. I mean gosh, I’m not that inconsiderate.

Swinging London Town

2006-08-11T14:58:00.000+02:00

So, SCAA left for London this morning at 7:30 am. Who the fuck flies to London at 7:30 am? Hell, I don’t even get up before noon – not even on a school day. Mornings just don’t do it for me. But whatever floats your boat I guess.

SCAA’s going to “work” in London for the next five months. It’s sort of an internship, but she’s getting paid as a regular employee. Though it’s not nearly enough to cover all her expenses [rental house in Sector 1 for 570 pounds per week and lots of partying and smoking] she’ll probably make some cash on the side by whoring herself out. And hey, knowing her, she’ll most likely won’t even have to pay for her own drinks anyway. That’s what sugar daddies are for, right? Although that shit is wasted on me.

Anyway, she’ll be working at a five star hotel in the near vicinity of Buckingham Palace – I thought she said across the street, but I’m not sure.

The Boyfriend and I will visit her soon and stay at her fine 41 Hotel since room tariffs start at a measly 295 Pounds per night. The Master Suite costs only 659 Pounds per night, so that’ll totally be our room.

Entrance

Hallway

Conservatory Suite

Bathroom

The butler SCAA is planning on doing - at least once. He's supposed to be damn hot. But, don't they fire people for petty things such as sleeping with co-workers? Prudes.

For the last time

2006-08-09T23:00:00.000+02:00

The word "paranoia" is a noun.

The word "paranoid" is an adjective.

Someone is paranoid.

Someone suffers from paranoia.

Saying "You're so paranoia", is wrong.

Don't use words if you can't use them in the correct way. Especially when you're trying to bring my ass down. It makes you sound stupid. And hell, I'm not paranoid. I don't even give a fuck.

There, I said it.

Please leave...again

2006-08-02T22:35:00.000+02:00

My parents are back. They left last Thursday morning to visit family in Germany. I'm not German though, and neither is my mother. My step-dad's aunt lives there, or rather her husband because she died.

They've been home for four and a half hours and they're already getting on my nerves.

"Should I turn off the internet?", step-dad asked before going to bed.

"No, I'm busy."

My step-dad has this obsession with turning off the internet when no one is using it. We have GD cable, you don't pay for the time the internet is on and we have a fucking router - it's meant to have the internet on 24/7.

"It's been up since last Wednesday..."

"Yeah."

"It hasn't been turned off since."

"Yeah."

"Since last Wednesday..."

"Yeah."

Jezus Christ. Let it go. Control-freak.

***

“Aren’t you going to help us unpack the car?”

“I’m making myself tea, there only are like four bags and I’m standing in the kitchen in my underwear.”

“Fine.”

“What do you expect me to do? Stop making tea, change into my clothes and help you unpack, which you should be done with by the time I’ve changed?”

“Yeah, Billy, you’re absolutely right.”

***

"Did you change the kitty litter?"

"Yes."

"When was the last time?"

"Yesterday morning."

"Well, it's gotten really dirty in such a short period of time..."

"And...?"

"I'm just saying."

"Why ask me, when you've already made up your mind about when and how I did or did not change the freaking kitty litter?"

***

"Did you vacuum before we came home?"

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“…”

“Okay.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. There’s just so much hair everywhere.”

“Well mother, you do have four cats.”

“Don’t get smart with me.”

***

“Couldn’t you have done the laundry while we were gone?”

“I did.”

“So these clothes are all clean?”

“Well mom, the clothes in the laundry basket are clean and the clothes in the hamper are dirty.”

“So you did like one cycle?”

“No, actually I did three.”

“Then why are all these clothes sitting in the hamper.”

“Jesus mom, I didn’t do the last batch because it was not enough to do last night and you don’t want me to turn on the washer during the day.”

“Well, don’t you have an answer for everything Billy.”

Even my mom is stressing me out. Aren't vacations supposed to relax you? Take a fucking batch of valium and/or take your annoying asses back to Deutschland.

See, this is why I need a gun.

Potato, potato

2006-08-02T21:21:00.000+02:00

At work some British lady wanted to order coffee in Dutch. See, I work near some International Criminial Court in The Hague, so we get a lot of foreigners at our lunchroom. Most of them try to order in Dutch, so this British lady asked for coffee with milk. But not milk from a little packet, but warm milk with coffee, but not a cappucino. So I was all: "Do you mean a latte, madam?"

And she was going all huffy "No, not a latte, that is what Americans call it. We call it café au lait."

Well fucking excuse me. The French call it café au lait too, so if I were her I wouldn't be so smug about it.

Cunt.

Old people + alcohol = not pretty

2006-07-21T22:51:00.000+02:00

Old people cannot behave when drunk. By old people I mean my parents and our neighbours. They're having a cocktail party. But they're not really drinking cocktails, just alcohol really. And why do men always get so touchy-feely with each other? Supressed sexual desires? Ew. I did not just say that. Grown-ups totally turn into teenagers when they're having drinks. But they're not like hot drunk teenagers who you could totally take advantage of. They're just drunk. And my parents. And that is not hot. What was I saying again?

I should not drink when trying to write stories.

And it's true what they say, I actually am funnier when you're drunk. Hell, I even think I'm funnier when I'm drunk. But that might just be me. Or you. But don't get me wrong, I'm also funny when no one is drunk. But we tend to not notice that really a lot. Wait, was that right?

Gun Advocate

2006-07-03T12:43:00.000+02:00

“Yeah, hi, I love the show, love hearing people’s opinions, that’s what made this country great. People. And opinions. And stuff. Most of all guns. I’ve had it with people whining about ‘guns kill people,’ guns don’t kill people, death kills people. Ask a doctor, it’s a medical fact. You can’t die from a bullet. You can die from a cardiac arrest or organ failure or a major hemorrhage, small piece of metal ain’t the problem. Besides, I only use my machine-gun in the safety of my own home and car. I ain’t hurting nobody. And countries that don’t have guns ain’t American.”

It ain't right

2006-06-29T15:42:00.000+02:00

"What causes growth?", Professor asks Billy.

Well, I can think of a thing or two, but is he seriously expecting me to answer that question in class?

My brain works in mysterious ways

2006-06-10T20:20:00.000+02:00

I had a thought today. A real one. Not like:

"I wonder how many times I can jerk off before passing out?"

No, my thought was, that it might be better for me [and others] to be nicer to people. You know, in general. And by people, I mean everybody, besides my parents and stupid ugly people [but we all know everybody's beautiful...]. Because I do want to go to heaven 'n all and you and I both know that karma is a ~~bitch~~ meany. You don't get into heaven or good karma for being cruel to your fellow man - and that is a fact.

But then I changed my mind, because I suddenly remembered I'm an atheïst and I'll rot in hell anyway. But more importantly, if everybody would just like, go around being all nice to people, there'd be no war, no suffering, no Ann Coulter and no people like me.

In some twisted way, you know my reasoning makes sense.

Watch and listen 3

2006-06-02T22:36:00.000+02:00

Okay, just listen to this song, without watching the video. The video sucks and will make you hate the track and want to poke your eyes out. Honest ! Well, unless you're into that whole nature, hippy, old man smell, 60's/70's kinda thing. Well, maybe it's not that bad of a video, but I loved the song before seeing this video (which was today) and I had imagined it differently - much much better of course.

Update: I'm actually starting to 'get' the video, and kind of liking it. GD, I am always so quick to judge !

Anyway, Soul Meets Body from Death Cab For Cutie is definitely going into the "Billy the Bootlegger Official Soundtrack" playlist - that's how much I love it.

I can't really explain why I like this song so much [or any other song for that matter], but it just does something to me. My taste in music is very eclectic, but my favorite tracks always have this melancholic quality about them. My keywords for Sould Meets Body: desolation, melancholy, heartache, nostalgia but on the other hand also ultimate happiness, enlightenment and hope.

Please listen to the entire song [trust me] and let me know what you think.

And yes, my life has a soundtrack. And it is - awesome [the soundtrack - not my life].

Death Cab For Cutie - Soul Meets Body

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what it's like to be new

Cuz in my head there's a Greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
Where they're far more suited than here.

Pa-da-pa-da-pa-pa
Pa-da-pa-pa-pa-da-pa-pa
Pa-da-pa-pa-pa-da-pa-pa-da-pa-da-pa

I cannot guess what we'll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain.

I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I'll hold you near
Cuz you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body

And I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I'll hold you near
Cuz you're the only song I want to hear

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Starting over

2006-05-31T21:26:00.000+02:00

I have decided to move out. Things with my parents aren't working out, and it's best that I leave.

I just turned 20 last month, but I can't say I'm not worried. Being out on my own, paying my own bills and shit like that. It's really scary for a guy who hasn't been without his parents for longer than three weeks.

I guess I really do have to grow the fuck up...

I was born in the wrong decade

2006-05-29T19:34:00.000+02:00

Duran Duran - Girls on Film | Notorious | Save a Prayer | The Reflex - Live

[ click on "You Tube" for a bigger version ]

Duran Duran is was the shit, don't you agree ?

The Good, the Bad and the Shameful

2006-05-24T20:55:00.000+02:00

On my way to class, to take my International and European Law midterm, the bus suddenly comes to an abrupt halt, at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere.

"The woman who got in at central station with her two Dollar bus ticket, this is your stop," the bus driver suddenly yells loudly, sounding pretty aggravated.

An older foreign-looking lady, in her early fifties, looks at the angry bus driver with confusion.

"But Sir, this isn't my stop – I didn't push the stop button," the lady says confused.

"Your two Dollar ticket will only get you this far. Get - out," bus driver yells.

The older lady starts getting up and walks towards the bus driver - she shows him his ticket.

"Yeah, what did I say? Do - you - not - understand - me?" Bus driver asks, as if he's talking to a six year-old.

"Yes, Sir I do, but - "

"You obviously don't, because otherwise you wouldn't have shown me that useless little ticket of yours."

"Sir, I'm sorry, I assumed - "

Bus driver interrupts her, "Oh, you a - ssumed huh? Well, that's the problem with your people, we don't just assume here in the Netherlands, we know. Maybe you should try integrating one more time!”

The bus is dead-silent. What is happening? Racism in a packed bus? Seriously?

I feel a sudden mix of rage towards the bus driver, and compassion for the woman. I don't know which is stronger. I want to stand up for her, but I can't. I know this driver; he has a high temper and today is not a good day for him. I can't risk getting kicked off the bus and miss my midterm – because he will kick your ass out.

"I'm really sorry Sir," the lady says softly.

"Sorry?! Well, being sorry is easy. It's the thinking that's a little harder, isn't it!? You and your goddamn people. You're just sorry because you got caught," bus driver yells in her face. "And I always catch them. So, what are you gonna do now, huh?"

"Err, I'd like to buy a ticket please, Sir…" the lady says quietly, remaining awfully polite and almost docile.

"Ah, so now you want a ticket…" bus driver retorts sarcastically. "Buy the right ticket in advance in the future, like all the normal people do."

He pulls the money out of her hand and nearly throws the ticket at her. As she's walking back to her seat, bus driver looks at her with disgust and annoyance, turns around, accelerates violently and continuous his route.

People watch, when the lady stumbles back down the aisle, trying to stay balanced as the bus rocks heavily. Our eyes meet as she's walking towards me. She gives me a faint smile, as if she's saying,

"It's okay."

Bu this is far from okay. A funny feeling comes over me, which I don’t know how to interpret. I just smile back, as if I'm trying to convey that I'm on her side - hoping that my sympathy will make things better.

The lady stumbles along down the aisle and takes her seat. Her face doesn't give anything away – there's no embarrassment, no sadness, no anger, there's nothing. She just stares outside and she looks - almost peaceful.

I'm not sure how to interpret her calmness. Is she just embarrassed? It can't be, because those few seconds we connected, she was the one telling me it was alright – that I shouldn't be worried about her.

The mixed feelings of anger and compassion turn into to shame and self-pity. Why did I not stand up for her? I know I should have said something, but I was too selfish - too weak. I let and sweet lady get shamed and discriminated against in public for an honest mistake, and what did I do? Not a damn thing.

I also felt shame those people that were on that bus with me. The people who, just like me, acted as voyeurs - eyeing her, listening to the crude and racist words coming out of the driver's mouth, just sitting in our seats, watching a show – pretending as though the woman didn't know we were here.

But we were all here. And we all saw what happened. And we all collectively ignored it. I don't know when we just - stopped caring. Is this what they call progress? Is this what individualism is leading to? And is this what tolerance means nowadays - minding our own business ?

I had my reasons for what I did – or rather, for what I didn’t do. And I’m sure they had theirs.

I know they had their reasons.

Because I don't want to believe anything else.

for rapperz 'n shit, yo

2006-05-22T16:23:00.000+02:00

If this were 4 realz:

We all know people would eat this shit up like hot fudge, right ? Spell Check is gonna be a bitch though.

fun with mother

2006-05-19T20:52:00.000+02:00

In the past, I have learned that one should never let my mother talk to certain people - today, movers have been added to the long, long list.

My parents are helping my aunt move into her new condo and my mom got into a conversation with one of the movers while she was unpacking.

"I used to work there too you know," my mom says, replying to a comment moving guy made about a certain shitty company.

"When did you work there?" moving guy asks.

"Oh, I quit in...'96 I think. I worked there for about ten years," mom says, as if she's thinking out loud.

"Oh, then you must know Anne and Johnny and Margareth and the whole bunch," moving guy replies.

"Ah yes, I remember Anne," mom says with a cynical tone, "she was one bitter cunt I must say. God, can you imagine living with her? I could hardly work 8 hours a day without wanting to beat her everytime she crossed my path."

"I can actually, she's my mother..." moving guy replies sheepishly while mom's sister in-law is trying to muffle her laughter.

"Oh..." mom says after a few seconds of dead silence, "well, you are not a bitter cunt at all."

"I know," moving guy says, faintly smiling as he's getting back to work, "I take more after my father."

"Well, you thank the Lord for that son - but then again...he did make you live with her..."

Mother has no shame and does not know when to shut up. And that is why we love her. Well, that and the fact that she still makes my sandwiches every morning.

i'm a narcissist pig

2006-05-13T18:38:00.000+02:00

I was feeling like ass because I turned twenty 'n all, so I decided to organise my photo collection. It was time to reflect on the past and I found out a few things about myself - or rather remebered:

- I used to be chubby,
- I used to love having my picture taken (not necessarily by other people,
- I used to look hot,
- I used to have hair,
- I used to have hot hair,
- I used to look like a starved orphan,
- I used to have really, really, really white teeth
- I was and am wonky-eyed when drunk,
- and you could and still can see when I'm fake smiling.

After the jump a small portion of my photo collection starring me, in chronological order.

[ Click images to enlarge ]

Mom's wedding, 2002

Ew. The hair, the ears, the suit, the chubbiness. Ew.

Still ew.

Spain, 2003

Looking freakishly like my father - but younger though. And constipated.

Working at a club around 7am, 2004

Hardly awake probably.

Annoyed, drunk and a little bit sad probably.

In my room, 2004

No comment.

...well, my teeth were white !

Salou after graduation, 2004

This photo was posed. We were not really having fun. A bitch told us to laugh, so we did.

Do I look weird or what ?

Damn, my metabolism was fast. Now, I'm just fat.

Clubbing, 2004

WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT MY HAIR ! FLAW-LESS. And it should be after 45 minutes of styling.

Post-graduation party, 2004

There was alcohol - a lot of it. And cigars. And alcohol.

In my room, 2004

I find this photo my best shot ever, even though people don't like it. They can go fuck themselves.

Someone's birthday, 2005

2006

At college being really bald and cheeky.

Post-clubbing on NYE.

Clubbing, yet again, with my new glasses. My most recent look. It doesn't do a lot for me, but it's an effortless one and allows me to see where I'm going - literally.

Strange how one can change so fast - and I'm not just talking about the bald head and the glasses. I think I used to like myself better. Shit happens - especially when I'm lazy.

this is totally a word

2006-05-02T23:23:00.000+02:00

Let this be a lesson of great predominancy: never try the attemptness to utilize words with a high level of difficultness or to construct long-winded scentences or the formness of words that are of the extemporaneously kind to appear more intellectuallingly smart-ness. It's the most highly unnecessariest-ly thing to do and it just basical makes your persona-lity-ism look like a great quanticity of stupidness.

I ain't lying ya'll-s.

today, i'm old

2006-04-29T11:51:00.000+02:00

Since I'm twenty as of today, I'll probably have to grow the fuck up.

Great.

double standards on racism

2006-04-26T16:17:00.000+02:00

Oprah was on today, and she got me thinking. The show was called Black Women Dating White Men: It's Something New! Part of the show was about this romantic comedy called Something New, in which a black woman falls in love with a white man.

Why is it, that it’s funny when a black man bitches about a black woman dating a white man. But when it’s a white man bitching about a white woman dating a black man, it’s racist ?

I don’t get that.

See, white people always get blamed for racism for anything really. Isn't it even so that white people can’t even say black, but they have to say colored or African-American, but black people can still call white people white instead of Caucasian ? Talk about double standards.

All these little rules about which words white people can and cannot use - it's ridiculous. I get that white people can't say nigger to a black person. But why do black people have to call each other that ? It's not a nice word - whether it's said by a white or a black person.

I guess it also has to do with the tone of voice and the situation it's used in, but really, white people can't use it - ever, and black people can.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that you shouldn't be a fucking hypocrite by telling some people can and some people cannot use a certain word. Allow it, or don't. Hypocrisy is despicable - for white and for black people.

And getting back to what I started this useless post with, I guess we also don't really care when black men bitch about the race issue, because they're often a lot funnier than white people, who often tend to seem very radical when bitching about black people. But when you think about it, it's not funny either way.

Of course Oprah invited a few typical black men to discuss the subject "Black women dating white men". And they weren't racist at all. Nope. They were just saying that,

"seeing a black woman and a white man together felt like a loss to the black community" [yeah, because she is now dead of course...or at least as good as...]

"maybe it was about the money" [yeah, it could never be about love right ?]

"why is she dating outside her range ?" [what the fuck does that even mean ?]

That doesn't sound racist at all, right Oprah ? And that's why you probably laughed, as did the audience, and kept on yapping and laughing. Oh, inviting the most narrow-minded unintelligent bunch of black men was a very good idea of your team. Bravo ! Give them all raises.

I guess people are overall more acceptant of black people being racist, than white people - and I'm asking you, why ? Because I for sure as hell can't think of a reason.

24/7 Dance

2006-04-25T18:02:00.000+02:00

Wessel van Diepen's Dance Department on Radio538 (Dutch National Radio) now has its own spin-off on the internet, called 24/7 Dance [not a very orginal name, is it ?]. Non-stop dance music hand-picked by the worlds greatest DJs, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

In addition to contemporary, new and upcoming dance music, 24/7 Dance will also be featuring music from way back when and ground breaking underground classics from DJs such as Secret Cinema, Visage and Planet Funk.

For digital dance music 24/7, go to:

Digital Radio

Click on "24/7 Dance" in the field right of the Digital Radio player and let the music play.

You can also rate the tracks you hear, but you have to register first. This also means that when you're not registered, you won't be able to listen to the stream in HQ [128kbps] - you'll have to listen to it at LQ [96kbps].

It's all in Dutch, but if this project turns out to be a success, it'll be featured in English in no-time. So for now, only premium services for the Dutch speaking among us. Unless you'd like me to walk you through the registering procedure, which is fairly simple. But that's easy for me to say...

Check it out and enjoy,

Billy

Watch and listen 2

2006-04-25T14:20:00.000+02:00

Kim Carnes - Bette Davis Eyes (1981)

The 80's had thé best music ever. We don't see new music like that anymore. I totally wish I was a teenager in back the 80's - I wish it even more than having a 9" cock. Honestly.

Watch and listen 1

2006-04-24T16:13:00.000+02:00

Donna Summer - I Feel Love (1977)

What's not funny

2006-04-22T14:15:00.000+02:00

Bob [Sinclar], seriously: come up with some new shit. The whistling dwarfs thing hook is getting old, okay ? I’m not saying I don’t like World Hold On better than Love Generation since I was over that shit after hearing it once. Whistling just makes me slightly psychotic.

Bob Sinclar - World Hold On ft. Steve Edwards (NEWS)

Today is going to be loads of fun. I have several dates with International and European Law, Tax Law and Economics For The Retards That Failed It The First Time. But to be honest, it wasn’t really because I was an idiot - I was vacationing. How the fuck was I supposed to know they schedule retake midterms in the middle of the summer holidays. That shit is messed up.

You know what else is messed up ? MY GLASSES ! I'm four-eyed ya'll ! But at least I'm able to see where I'm going now.

dance department 4/22

2006-04-22T12:00:00.001+02:00

Van Diepen's Dance Department [Website]

Airing date: Saturday April 22th, 2006 on Radio538
Time: 8pm-12pm CET [Amsterdam]
Start mark: 1:40

Click image to listen

Dance Department is also available as a weekly podcast:
Dance Department - The Best Beats To 'Go
It's also listed in the iTunes Music Store, as "Dance Department".

And has its own internet spin-off:
24/7 Dance [Non-english]
Non-stop dance music hand-picked by the worlds greatest DJs, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Playlist after the jump.

20:00 - 21:00

01. Moguai - Tonight (Punx)
02. Texas - What About Us (Jacques Lu Cont Mix/Mercury)
03. Riva - Lunar (United)
04. Outwork feat. Mr. G. - Elektro (Cubeguys Mix/Juicy)
05. Danny Tenaglia - DIbiza (Kick Ass Mix/StereoProductions)
06. Bob Sinclar feat Steve Edwards - World Hold On (NEWS)

BEATPORT WORLD WIDE WARNING

07. Delerium - Innocente (Deep Dish Mix/Nettwerk)

Commercials

08. Purple Haze - Eden (Spinnin')
09. Ferry Corsten - Watch Out (CDR)
10. Kelis - Bossy (Scumfrog Mix/CDR)
11. Supermodels From Paris - Keep On (JC1 Mix/AnjunaDeep)
12. Robbie Rivera - Bizarre Love Triangle (Juicy)

FAVORIETE DANSPLAAT: Ricardo Stegeman

13. Jaydee - Plastic Dreams

21:00 - 22:00

01. Riot In Belgium - The Acid Never Lies (Boyznoize 909 Mix/Fine)
02. Til West - Same Man (Spinnin')
03. Sweet Pussy Pauline vs. Switch - Want Heads, Tits & Ass (P.J.Bootleg)
04. The Joker - Bring It Back (Lee Cabrera Mix/Hit!Records)
05. Roger Sanchez - Lost(Stealth)

NIGHTGUIDE

06. Dirt Crew - Domino (MoodMusic)

Commercials

ALBUM CHECK: Bob Sinclar

22:00 - 23:00

01. John Made - Music is Groovin' (Subliminal)
02. Blaze feat. Barbara Tucker - Most Precious Love (Chocolate Puma Mix/Defected)
03. Moguai - Tonight (Punx)
04. Evermore - It's Too Late (Dirty South Mix/ViciousVinyl)
05. xxxxxxxxxxxxx - xxxxxxxxxxxxx (CDR)
06. Eddie Thoneick & Kurd Maverick - Love Sensation (Sensa Mix/CDR)

INTERVIEW: SANDER KLEINENBERG

Commercials

DJ SET: Benny Benassi

23:00 - 00:00

01. James Holden - The Wheel (Cocoon)
02. Texas - What About Us (Jacques Lu Cont Mix/Mercury)
03. Delerium - Innocence (Deep Dish Mix/Nettwerk)
04. Telex - On The Road Again (Jo Bogaert Mix/EMI)
05. Lindstrom - I Feel Space (Playhouse)
06. Robyn - Crash and Burn Girl (Jesper Dahlback Mix)

Commercials

ALBUM CHECK: Junkie XL

You dumb fuck

2006-04-15T22:04:00.000+02:00

"What is the name of the author of the book Catcher in the Rye ?"

"Uhm..."

[... bla bla ...]

"That, was the wrong answer. Buh-bye."

- Who Wants To Be A Millionaire [€2000 question].

Duh, the autor of Catcher in the Rye is J.D. Salinger, who does not know that ? Seriously, everyone has read that book at least once. And the dumb-ass was an ooold man. All the old people know Catcher in the Rye. Geez, I guess they really do adapt the difficulty-level of the questions to the mental retardation [no offence] of contestants, but they probably didn't think he was actually that stupid.

And when you ask for a 50/50 help line, you do not, I repeat, do not tell the presenter which answers you think are clearly wrong. You know they'll just leave the two answers you were unsure about.

And the host seriously needs to learn to fucking speaking English. Ira Leeeeavin ? IRA LEVIN ASSHOLE ! How did you get to be [one of] the best-payed TV host[s] in the Netherlands ?

I could so totally do his job. Well, unless it involves spelling...or talking slowly...or being nice.

***

And since I'm on the subject of my smartness [it's a word], I flunked three mid terms, one of which was a retake. I'll be taking the same damn Public Finance class all over again next year. GD !

I'm currently following 5 courses over the next ten weeks. One of which...I'm taking for the second time. I failed Economics for Idiots last year. The upside is, I'm the smartest one in my group now. But I'm not continually raising my hand and being all intelligent and shit. Because people like that - are annoying. I just sigh and roll my eyes when somebody gives the wrong answer. They deserve it and it is totally adorable.

***

Some wisdom from SCAA:

"Life is not the life you've lived, it's the life you remember and how you remember it to tell it" - Live to tell - Gabriel García Márquez

I don't think I really get the last part, but when you read it really fast, it really makes sense.

It's been a fucking while

2006-04-05T20:22:00.000+02:00

Still here. Alive. Barely. Will be posting regularly from now on.

PrinsJan.com

Check it out for the awesomest dance music ever. Seriously. Check it.

Did I mention I'm hooked on Grey's Anatomy ? I am. They have the best music director ever. Oh, how I love the 21st century. You hear a track you like on some show, you visit their website and you can look up the track information. It's the most annoying thing there is: hearing a song and not knowing what it's called and who's it from. They should make a law that states every single track that is used wherever should be credited. You know. To avoid pissing me off.

Later bitches.

All about the wire

2006-02-21T18:59:00.000+01:00

Goddamn fucking bitch ass ho cheap slut. Wireless Internet officially sucks gay ass. No, not even a gay ass, because that would be too good. And that is saying something. Period. It's broke. Dead. Lifeless. Just...gone.

Why all this new technology ? The wires were fine. But noooo, we need to be "wireless" and use our GD WiFi because then you can get on the Internet without a wire. It doesn't matter that you'll have to charge your laptop eventually anyway, or that your desktop has to be connected to an outlet. I hate it. I hate the inventors. I hate my parents - they should've just bought me a really loooong wire and everything would've been fine. This is so not my fault. I'm sure all this wifi shit has nothing to do with a lot of questionable downloaded internet porn. No, that could not be it.

Ps: if you're like an IT kinda guy/girl - I'm having problems with my HDCP server I think. The diagnostic test says it's running fine, and it's able to send an ip and shits to my laptop wifi card, but not the one attached to my pc. It says "invalid ip adress". If you help me, I will be very grateful.

I'm a producer ya'll

2006-02-17T23:41:00.000+01:00

Finally some recognition. All hail me. Too bad the track blows. You're still proud right ?

Source: Dance Department Podcast Playlist

I never learn

2006-02-17T14:12:00.000+01:00

I've given you my finger (again) and now you're taking my entire arm (again). Back the fuck off and pretend like you're not obsessed or desperate. It's not attractive. Duh ?

dance department

2006-02-11T12:00:00.000+01:00

Van Diepen's Dance Department
Website
Airing date: Saturday February 11th, 2006
Station: Radio538 (NL)
Time: 8pm - 12pm CET
Start mark: 3:50

Click image to listen.

Playlist after the jump.

20:00 - 21:00

01. xxxxxxxxx - xxxxxxxxxx (CDR)
02. Shapeshifters - Incredible (MK & MTV Mix/Positiva)
03. Antoine Clamaran - Take Off (Paintball)
04. Marco V - False Light (BeYourself)
05. Dave McCullen - Electric Girl (OTL)
06. Junkie XL - Today (Single Edit/CDR) **WORLD EXCLUSIVE**
07. Niklas Harding pres. Arcane - Ice Beach (Coldharbour Recordings/Armada)

INTERVIEW: Deep Dish

Commercials

08. The Source feat. Candi Staton - You Got The Love (Shapeshifters Edit/Spinnin')
09. Til West - Same Man (Spinnin')
10. Switch - A Bit Patchy (Data)
11. Dogzilla - Without You (BeYourself)
12. J-Punch - Red Blood (Oven Ready)
13. 27th Avenue - Sensuality (White)

DE FAVORIETE DANSPLAAT: DJ Chuckie

14. The Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up (XLRecordings)

21:00 - 22:00

01. Tiger Stripes - Serenity (Ibadan)
02. Madonna - Sorry (Man With Guitar Mix/Warner)
03. Del 5 - Mr. X (Polar)
04. Full Blown - Strip Poker (Whoop)
05. Mylo vs. Tocadisco - In My Arms (Breastfed)
06. Chris Lake - Changes (AlternativeRoute)

NIGHTGUIDE

07. Tiga - Far From Home (Pias) **EXCLUSIVE EDIT**

Commercials

RECORD CHECK: Laidback Luke

22:00 - 23:00

01. Chubby Chunks - Testament One (ClevelandCity)
02. Marco V - False Light (Thunderdub Mix/BeYourself)
03. Metallica vs. Erick Morillo - Dancin' (Steve Angello Mash Up/CDR)
04. Jinny - Keep Warm (Paavo Thorian Mix/White)
05. Meck feat. Leo Sayer - Thunder In My Heart Again (Radio Edit/Universal)
06. Alex Stealthy - Able To Forget (SogChrome)

DJ SET: Deep Dish

23:00 - 00:00

01. Thomas Schumacher - Heat It Up (Spielzeug)
02. Nukes - Seismographic (Habersham Mix/CPRecordings)
03. Royksopp - What Else Is There? (Vitalic Mix/Wall Of Sound)
04. Riva - Lunar (Dedicated/United)
05. Julian Poker - Black Leather (Forensic)
06. Dogzilla - Without You (BeYourself)

Commercials

DJ SET: DJ Hell

It freaks me out

2006-02-10T19:53:00.000+01:00

The restaurant I work at has new owners. The new manager brought his kid to work - I guess he thought it was show and tell or some shit like that. He just stood there, with the kid in his arms, doing nothing, while I was fixing drinks at the bar. I guess manager guy was expecting me to be entertaining, but I just froze. Kids really don't do anything for me. I mean, it could not keep its saliva in its mouth and it couldn't talk, the kid couldn't either - what the hell am I supposed to do with that ? So I waved and left.

Kids and managers: can't live with them, can't... Yeah, I got nothing.

Don't watch, just listen

2006-02-08T23:10:00.000+01:00

Madonna's new music video Sorry sucks gay ass balls cunts. I just don't get it. Hung Up was excellent - both the song and the video, expectations were high. I am very disappointed in Madonna Inc. Bad choreography, bad directing, bad story. It's a really sorry excuse for a music video - that did't work, did it ?

I bet they spent the most money on fucking airbrushing her sorry ass, and by ass I mean face, because a bitch looks like she's a freaking pre-schooler. What the fuck happened to aging gracefully and accepting the "coming of age", by which I mean having your tits, ass and face drop down by a foot covered in wrinkles and crows feet and baring it all to the world, showing you're not an alien robot ? I guess that's not taught by Kabballah.

The only thing I kind of like, and I use the word “like” loosely, about this video, is that it’s a (sort of) sequel to Hung Up. Translation: Sorry is what happens after you get Hung Up. That almost worked, right ? Anyway, not knowing what happened after the Hung Up video has been driving me crazy - not. I now know - teehee.

Hmmm, maybe it's all just an elaborate marketing ploy. They're giving us crap now, but I bet the next video is going to be as good as the Hung Up video. And then we'll be all like: "Gee, this is even better than Hung Up." And we'll like all want to buy the single and request it on mother fucking TRL. And Madonna Inc. will be all like: "Ha, consumers are so stupid ! It's basically the same video, but Sorry was so bad, they're all thinking it's even better than Hung Up. And now we're getting double the publicity." They're evil I say, evil.

But I hate it, yet I’m streaming it. Let’s just say I’m using it to emphasize the fact that it blows – hard.

I'd like to say enjoy, but I'd be lying.

For an equally crappy video in a higher resolution click here or here.

Watch and listen

2006-02-08T14:16:00.000+01:00

Annie - Heartbeat

Official website

State of mind

2006-02-08T12:06:00.000+01:00

Depeche Mode - A Pain That I'm Used To (Jacques Lu Cont)

I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore
I just know that I'm harder to console
I don't see who I'm trying to be instead of me
But the key is a question of control

Can you say what you're trying to play anyway
I just pay while you're breaking all the rules
All the signs that I find have been underlined
Devils thrive on the drive that is fueled

All this running around, well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

There's a hole in your soul like an animal
With no conscience, repentance, oh no
Close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise
Devils feed on the seeds of the soul

I can't conceal what I feel, what I know is real
No mistaking the faking, I care
With a prayer in the air I will leave it there
On a note full of hope not despair

All this running around, well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve something that rings true

PREVIEW I (RealMedia), PREVIEW II, PREVIEW III

I wish

2006-02-07T17:52:00.000+01:00

...I had never looked up the definition of "tossing the salad". Who the fuck made that one up anyway ?

Ew.

Dance Department

2006-02-06T16:02:00.000+01:00

Van Diepen's Dance Department
Origin: Radio538 Broadcast
Date: Saturday February 4th, 2006.
Time: 8pm - 12pm CET.
Start mark: 2:55.

Click image to listen.

Playlist after the jump.

20:00 - 21:00

01. Dogzilla - Without You (BeYourself)
02. Slyde - Vibrate To This (Finger Lickin')
03. Madonna - Sorry (Man With Guitar Mix/Warner)
04. Fairmont - Gazebo (BorderCommunity)
05. Ying Yang Twins - Shake (X-Press 2 Vocal/TVT)
06. Mylo vs. Tocadisco - In My Arms (Breastfed)

INTERVIEW: The Scumfrog

Commercials

07. Siskid - Little Bit Of Home (Initial Cuts)
08. Paul Harris - Guitar 1 (King Unique Mix/Saved)
09. Snoop Dogg vs. The Cure - Close to Drop (Hollertronix Bootleg)
10. Trentemoller - Beta Boy (OutOfOrbit)
11. Purple Haze - Eden (Spinnin')

DE FAVORIETE DANSPLAAT: TMF-VJ Renate Verbaan

12. Rui Da Silva - Touch Me

21:00 - 22:00

01. Deep Dish - Dreams (Axwell Mix/Spinnin')
02. Buick Project - KLF At The Rave (White)
03. Tiger Stripes - Serenity (Ibadan)
04. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx - xxxxxxxxxxxx (CDR)
05. Shapeshifters - Incredible (Nocturnal Mix/Spinnin')
06. Yellow Blackbird - Superfly (Andy Moor Mix/Sog Chrome)

NIGHTGUIDE

07. Laidback Luke - Ghostbusters Theme (CDR)

Commercials

DJ SET: The Scumfrog

22:00 - 23:00

01. Sasha - Xpander (UltraRecords)
02. Coldplay - Talk (Junkie XL Mix/CDR)
03. DJ Remy - Crackdown (68 Recordings/Armada)
04. Max Graham Feat. Jessica Riddle - I Know You're Gone (Shine)
05. Benny Benassi - Who's Your Daddy? (Fuzzy Hair Mix/D:vision)
06. Mylo vs. Tocadisco - In My Arms (Breastfed)

Commercials

RECORD CHECK: Tiesto

23:00 - 00:00

01. DJ Hell - Je Regrette Everything (Superpitcher Mix/Gigolo)
02. xxxxxxxxxxx - xxxxxxxxxxxx (CDR)
03. The Young Punx - Destroy Celebrity Crap (White)
04. Dogzilla - Without You (BeYourself)
05. Del 5 - Mr. X (Polar)
06. Missy Elliott - Teary Eyed (Tiefschwarz Mix/Atlantic)

INTERVIEW: Danny Howells

Commercials

DJ SET: Danny Howells

Source: Dance Department

Things people say

2006-01-31T14:49:00.000+01:00

"My brother's girlfriend says she's lost respect for me for liking that song. She's not getting a christmas card." - Neil R.

Untelligent

2006-01-31T14:05:00.000+01:00

Fuck you, I can totally fucking speak entire fucking scentences without swearing after almost every fucking word.

Make me smile bitch

2006-01-28T15:33:00.000+01:00

I secretly take pleasure in seeing people miss their bus. The desperation and anger in their faces whilst running after an already fast moving bus just makes me smile.

And if you really want to make my day, all you have to do is just replace the word "bus" by "train" - sheer joy.

Walls

2006-01-24T17:31:00.000+01:00

Yeah, this is not why she's doing it.

PostSecret

Say something nice

2006-01-21T14:35:00.000+01:00

"Why don't you go fuck yourself right now, so I won't have to do it later."

Tart

2006-01-19T16:13:00.000+01:00

I don't care how rich your daddy is, you still look and act cheap. Shallow cunt.

And you, Mr. Ugly Lacoste Shirt wearing redheaded jungle freak, you probably need that shiny Lexus (which is hot) as compensation for your innate fugliness and microscopic red hairy pubed dick. You’re a dumbass and we all know you’ll end up in your parents’ basement eventually.

Fuck I hate these preppy rich-ass snobby college students. I fucking go to college, I have a fucking brain, my daddy is a rich fuck (which I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about and frankly doesn't do me much good anyway) and you don’t see me going around flaunting my dad’s wealth. We haven’t accomplished shit. Our parents did. Fuck you. Fuck you and your whole army of superficial retard upper-class skanks. I hope you all end up in somebody’s basement.

Today was a good day. A day on which I've used the word "fuck" to an excessive degree. And I've been sort of upbeat. What is up with that ? That word shouldn't even be in my vocabulaire. It's just as gross as the words "support", "tact", "thoughtfullness" and"kindness". It makes me sick.

So how’ve you been ?

Friday 13th

2006-01-15T11:22:00.000+01:00

I've been looking for this particular song for literally years. It's a song from the movie I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, with Jennifer Cunt Hewitt and shit - it was on the tube (I'm sooo British) last Friday night.

The title of the movie ain't right though. It was supposed to be I Still Know What You Did Two Summers Ago, but I'm not nitpicking. Also: that correct title sucks gay ass anyway - it would be waaay to long. It's just that the incorrect title bugged me when I went to the movies to see it. Yeah, I actually went to see it at an actual movie theater and I'm a wino. Sue me.

Continueing (is that how it's written ? weird...), if you've seen it, it was the song that is played when those bitches - who will all certainly be sliced, diced and fed to...mice ( ? ) - arrive at the island in the Bahamas. They didn't even put this song on the soundtrack, what is up with that ? Jennifer Cunt Hewitt was on there with her damn How Do I Deal song. You don't deal bitch, you just don't sing. Period.

To sum it up: the song is called That Girl and it is performed by Esthero. Kicks gay ass. A bitch worked with the Black Eyed Peas (as if that's something to proud of), Outkast, Pharrell and many others. And she's from Chicago or something. Or Canada. That wasn't meant to be as mean as it sounded. Sorry Chicago. But enjoy the song anyway.

Enough with the gay thing

2006-01-08T00:24:00.000+01:00

The previous post (in Dutch) by beta Boy and Alter Ego’s comment on it got me thinking. I guess a serious post about the gay thing was bound to come up sometime – so here it is.

To summarize beta Boy’s post: he’s always wondering why ~~most~~ a lot of gay men act like they’re girls, why the homosexual community wants (or already has ?) Gay Games as an equivalent of the Olympics, why they almost always try to label or put themselves in a particular box (or closet :), why some gay men enjoy “barebacking”, why some gay men still find it strange that the number of HIV and AIDS patients are relatively higher among homosexuals than among “straight” people and why gay men need to label the role one plays in bed – “bottom”, “top” or “versatile”.

Alter Ego’s comment: A.E. finds it normal that bed positions are labelled and in the straight world there is no need for that (although some guys like to be fucked by girls with strap-ons, which would not make them gay, but who’s nitpicking ?), homosexuals put themselves in boxes because they want to flirt in certain clubs/bars without getting gay-bashed, people in general want to hang with people that share the same interests, men are hunters by nature and that is why they tend to go to “saunas” and adult theatres which is part of their interests, Gay Games and Gay Pride are overrated, but the Gay Pride thing is fun, barebacking is ridiculous and dangerous and the younger men are when they come out of the closet, the faggier they tend to be (a little short-sighted, he says, but often true).

Now that you know what the inspiration for this post was, I will commence after the jump.

As far as the faggy behaviour goes: some gay men act like girls because they are insecure and don’t know how to carry themselves, so they’ll act like the “average” homosexual. Or they just think that a homosexual is supposed to act that way.

I find it extremely annoying, because it often seems fake, as if they’re trying too hard, stupid and extremely over the top. Some of them are genuine, and I don’t mind them, because I can tell that they’re not faking it by their demeanor. Everyone has the right to be who they want to be – fake or not - more power to them, but I personally don’t like to feminine thing and I choose not to get involved with the fake girly kind. My "problem" is solved.

I extremely disapprove of barebacking when the people doing it aren’t HIV+ or when people haven’t gotten tested yet. They can do whatever they want in their little (big) HIV+ box - fucking without a condom on feels better and I understand why people like to do it. But when you’ve just met and/or haven’t gotten tested yet, you should use a condom. Period. You can’t trust people on this subject matter – not even yourself. One in five homosexuals in Amsterdam have AIDS or HIV, yet you hardly ever meet one. Doesn’t that speak for itself ? And by the way, sucking without a condom on is not safe sex. Duh.

Since I’m being all opinionated, I’ll be honest too: I’ve regularly fucked without a condom on. We were in a relationship and we were both clean (in every sense of the word).

I agree with Alter Ego that men are born as hunters (and if they aren’t – nature vs. nurture - they do tend to have a stronger hunter instinct than women do) and that is probably why the number of gay men with HIV/AIDS is relatively higher than it is among straight people: they have more (casual) sex among each other. Men are generally more okay with the casual sex thing that women are, and their greater hunger for (casual) sex is also probably the reason why a lot of gay men visit saunas and adult theatres. I don’t agree with the fact that he’s saying that “it is part of their interests”. I think one has to be more careful with ones words, writing about matters like this. I know he probably isn’t saying that all gay men are interested in those things, but it might come across as if he is.

I agree with beta Boy when it comes to labelling the role that a gay man plays in bed: it is stupid. Why is it so important to know what role one plays in bed ? If you like each other, love each other, are turned on by each other, it doesn’t really matter if you “give” or “receive” or “are easy and like it either way”. Fucking is not a priority for me – there are a lot of other things you can do while having sex, besides fucking. Yes, it’s nice and it’s handy when you’re compatible in that way, but so what if you aren’t ? One-night-stands, okay. You want to fuck, get fucked, do both, whatever – I get that you’d want to have a certain person in your bed. Relationship wise, it seems like a petty thing to fuss over. But again, that’s just me speaking.

As far as labelling and putting yourself in a box: the human species have always had the tendency to label themselves or put themselves in a particular box. It has always been that way and it will probably remain that way. I don’t see that as being a bad thing. It does get problematic when people are so boxed in (whether they’re responsible themselves or not) they will start to be separated from “the rest of the world”, so to speak.

Take the gay community for example (for a lack of a better word): they want separate TV channels, separate advertisement, separate phone subscriptions, separate Olympics and so on. What will be next ? Separate bathrooms ? Separate public transportation ? Separate queues at city hall ? Separate villages ? Separate countries ? I know I’m exaggerating, but there seems no end to it.

I understand why gay people want their gay clubs, pubs, dating websites and stuff like that – socialising might be easier, flirting will definitely be easier, it’s nice to talk to people with the same interests (as far as “being gay” is an interest) and having almost full security of not being gay bashed is also a good thing I think. Those are normal things to want, and it is normal to want those things (oh, the redundancy is overwhelming). Places where you are 100 percent accepted (sexual orientation wise) and shit like that – all fucking great.

But anyway, the afro-Americans have fought for years for equal rights and equal treatment in the United States - they didn’t want to be separated anymore. And now some of us are trying to do the exact opposite ? Have we not learned anything ? Do some gay people really think that separating ourselves will create more acceptance and understanding in this world ?

I personally don’t need the entire separation thing that much. Straight, gay, bi, a-sexual - I don't fucking care (I only care to fuck :).But then again, I’ve been privileged. Why ? Because I have never ever had a negative experience concerning my sexual orientation – literally. And I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m open about it, but it’s not as if I need people to know I like the male kind.

I’m also being the person that I think I am, which is incidentally not a big queer. I guess I do have some of the stereotypical traits when it comes to buying clothes, listening to certain music, personal grooming and my hygiene (although I don’t find these things especially typical for gay men, but some people do) but when I’m talking to people, I speak with a normal voice, make normal hand gestures and I’m loud, crude and I curse a lot. By the sound of my voice and the way I carry myself you wouldn’t really expect me to be gay (when considering the stereotype a lot of people, including me sometimes, still have in their heads), and I guess that makes people more comfortable. I know I’m not a ease when a very feminine homosexual is talking to me with that exaggerated voice, the hands flying in the air and the touching. It’s just not what I prefer. And if I as a gay man am a bit uncomfortable with that, I can certainly imagine that some straight people might be uncomfortable too.

And the “not needing to let people know I’m gay” thing does not mean I’m ashamed of myself. When people ask or when the subject comes up, I am honest and open about it. It’s just that being gay is not who I am, so I don’t say: “Hi, I’m Billy, I like men.”. My sexual orientation has very little to do with my personality – and I truly believe that. I’m gay, but I don’t feel and see myself as being different from the “straight people”. We’re all just people. Period. And I am inclined to think that if more gay people just cut back on the “I’m here, I’m queer, get used to it” routine just by a tiny bit, other people might be just more a little more accepting. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t be proud, on the contrary, but being proud of being gay is just retarded. Celebrate yourself for who you are, not for who you do.

Lastly I will not get into the matters of kiss-ins and forcing beliefs down another person's throat, since I’ve already written crap about that. I do want to repeat some of the conclusions I’ve drawn in those one of those previous posts: emphasising our differences will do us no good. We should focus the attention on the fact that, even though we’re all different, we’re also all very much the same, considering we’re all part of a race I’d like to call “homo sapiens”. And I’m aware of the fact that it’s a cliché and it's easier to say than it is to actually do, but it beats the crap out of Gay Games any day.

Vraag me wel eens af...waarom ?

2006-01-07T01:28:00.000+01:00

Telkens als ik een homostelletje zie, komen meestal dezelfde vragen naar boven borrelen:

“Waarom lopen jullie zo nichterig ?”,

“Waarom praten jullie zo nichterig ?”

Ook bij het zien van bijvoorbeeld The Gay Games, of bijvoorbeeld die homostraatjes met daarin gevestigde kroegen en clubs speciaal voor gays. Terwijl ik daar aan denk, weer een vraag:

“Waarom plaatsen homo’s zichzelf altijd in hokjes ?”

Of dan die speciale bioscopen, waarin je na de film los kan gaan, in de daarvoor speciaal afgebakende hokjes. Het liefst zonder condoom. “Barebacken”, wordt dat in scene genoemd.

Wederom fronzen mijn wenkbrauwen zich en denk ik dan:

“Vinden jullie het gek dat AIDS het meest leeft onder de homoseksuelen?”

Weet je wat nog gekker is ? De rolverdeling in bed ! De ene is meestal “bottom” en de ander “top”. Een bottom laat zich dan "nemen" door een top. Je zou kunnen zeggen dat een top geeft en een bottom ontvangt. Ook zonder die namen, kan het geil zijn.

Ik kan het weten, want ik vraag me nog iedere dag af:

"Waarom ben ik eigenlijk homo ?",

“Waarom wil niemand mij ontvangen ?”,

Waarschijnlijk ben ik niet homo genoeg.

Happy Fucking New Year (Seriously)

2006-01-02T23:00:00.000+01:00

The title is sort of self-explanatory, no ? Anyway, I’m not a man of many words (*cough*), so be good and stay safe – by which I mean have lots of sex and stay STD-free.

Yours unfaithfully,

Billy

Ps: and on a more serious note, I hope this year's going to be a good one - for our all our sakes.

The past few years it has become painfully obvious that we, as a species, are losing grip on what is happening on and to our planet - that is, if we haven't already.

As individuals we can't do a lot to get us back on the right track, but as a whole we could achieve so much. Give a little bit more love, show a little more consideration, be a little bit more generous, have a little more respect and be a little bit more open-minded and understanding. The slightest effort could change somebody's day or even somebody's life.

Overly idealistic ?

Perhaps. But we owe it to ourselves - and our future generations - to give it a fucking try, dammnit !

I'm such a fag

2005-12-30T12:47:00.000+01:00

Last night, I spent six hours watching the GD Fashion TV channel. SIX HOURS ! And there wasn’t anything going on at all. A bunch of skinny ass anorexic (anorectic ?) bulimic coked out skank models strutting their non-existent asses and racks down a cheap-ass runway, wearing the most hideous clothes ever invented, while Kylie/Britney/Groove Armada-like music was playing in the background.

I was skankmatized to say the least.

Those bitches were all so hot and pretty. And arrogant too ! They’d be sitting in their crappy chairs backstage reading a book (and by book I mean magazine, and by magazine I mean a book with lots of pretty pictures) looking all blasé while twenty people are smearing body lotion all over them, fixing and cutting their hair and doing their make-up. There was one model, who was so tired (and by tired I mean malnourished and coked out) someone had to hold her head up straight. I totally made that last thing up, but wouldn’t that be awesome ?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Ps: we're fucking snowbound ! We ain’t used to shit in this GD country. A little bit of snow and we’re already advised to stay the fuck home. Other countries deal with this shit on an almost daily basis in winter time. And the public transportation people have used this “weather alert” to go home early: after 4pm this afternoon there was no more guarantee of any public transportation. WTF ? It’s fucking snow – not a chemical atom bomb (if there even is such a thing), Anyhoo, pics of the weather “terror”.

And this is my one of our kitty cats, 50. It's a big-ass cat. He'll eat you - seriously.

His real name is Rios but since he's the neighborhood gangster, he is now called 50. Anyway, we bought a new Fatboy - the little fucker hogged it and hasn't moved ever since. That was two weeks ago - you can totally tell we're related.

De Beldel

2005-12-29T02:27:00.000+01:00

Ik keek vandaag tv en daar zag ik haar weer, M. - een belspel-hoertje van een of andere commerciële omroep. Je ziet in beeld “ ROOD, WIT EN B L . . . W ”.

Jij als kijker moet natuurlijk raden welk woord er op de puntjes moet staan – en reken maar dat jij de enige bent die het juiste woord kent. Met het correcte antwoord maak je kans op 2000 euro...nee 2100 euro...nee VANDAAG MAAK JE KANS OP 2500 EURO !

Zucht.

Aangezien je waarschijnlijk sympathie voor haar hebt geweekt omdat ze zo lief lacht, zal ik je uit de droom helpen: ze gaat vreemd - en hoe ? Vier negers in een rondje al spuitend in een gewillig mondje - zij was het mondje. Soa's kweken in een seksclub - zij had de eerste. Mensen die zich door gebruikte tentenstokken laten nemen - zij was er een van.

Op de momenten waarop zij zich mengde in smerige zaakjes, was haar man hun zeven maanden oude kindje aan het verzorgen – en hoe ik dat weet ? Ik was er ook bij.

Terug naar het onderwerp.

Om een goede definitie te geven van het woord 'vreemdgaan', dook ik de Dikke van Dale in. Wat schetst mijn verbazing ? Het woord 'vreemdgaan' staat niet eens in dat overschatte, en veel té DIKKE naslagwerk. Dan maar een woord wat de lading dekt:

be•drie•gen (ov.ww., ook abs.)

1 min of meer met opzet misleiden => bedonderen, beduvelen, belazeren, besjoemelen, besodemieteren, iem. knollen voor citroenen verkopen, naaien, oetsen, verlakken, vernachelen, verneuken, verneuriën
2 ontrouw zijn aan

De recente cijfers liegen er niet om, ook in Nederland wordt veel overspel gepleegd. Twee op de vijf mannen met een relatie gaat wel eens vreemd. En vrouwen schijnen trouwens met een aardige inhaalslag bezig te zijn.

Wat wel opvalt is dat mannen vaak vreemdgaan met een minnares die geen relatie heeft en vrouwen vaak overspel plegen met een man die wel een relatie heeft. Dit heeft blijkbaar te maken met het feit dat mannen niet graag op de tweede plaats willen staan. Hoe dan ook, vreemdgaan blijft meestal catastrofaal voor een relatie: ruim 30 procent van de echtscheidingen zijn het gevolg van overspel. Niets is zo erg als belogen en bedrogen worden door je partner, zeggen diverse onderzoekers.

Mijn mening ?

Mensen die vreemd gaan zijn egoïstische lafaards. Zo simpel is het. Als je niet gelukkig bent in je relatie, moet je deze gewoon verbreken. En als ook jij dat had gedaan M., dan kon ook jij je gaatjes op een eerlijke manier, met een gerust hart, laten vullen door een andere “ DIKKE L . L ”.

Hebben we een winnaar ?

Ooveriguns

2005-12-29T01:50:00.000+01:00

Just so joe no, ik booikot duh nieuwuh needurlandsuh spelling. Waarom ? Omdat ik ut vertik om appèl als appel te schrijven. Rot toch op met juh kontinuieteit en aktuaalieteit. Men dient geen fukking appel in bij ut Hof. Men dient een appèl in. Appels groeiun aan boomen en zitten in appel-taart. Okeej ?

En Frank-
rijk en Fran-
krijk vind ik al hélumaal tuh gestoorddd voor woordun.

En dit heb helmaal nix tuh makuh met ut feit dat ik un 4,3 had voor mij inburgeringssscursus op de nationale inburgeringssstest. Wat duh fack ? En ik ben noch wel un autogtoon. Ooveriguns maaken die maakers van dezuh test zelluf vouten als:

"Wie minder dan 80 procent van de vragen goed beantwoord, is onvoldoende ingeburgerd." - beantwoord is met dt, als juh dat noch nie wist. Lesjuh needurlands zou tog egt geen kwaad kunne...

Tiefusleijers.

Hump Day Hotness

2005-12-28T23:59:00.000+01:00

Say hi to Angel from Big Brother Spain:

All I know is that he seems to enjoy long walks on the beach with sun glasses on, nekkid. NSFW pic after the jump.

Is it just me, or was the other picture much more arousing ? I guess I like the mystery. Dicks are overrated. Obviously.

New Year's Eve

2005-12-28T21:21:00.000+01:00

Got plans yet ? Usually I think New Year's Eve parties are overrated - what don't I find overrated these days ? - and too expensive, but since the Ex-Boyfriend got us on the guest list, I guess I'm going to one hell of a party.

We're going to 't Paard van Troje (the Trojan Horse) in the Hague on Saturday December 31st. We've been to one of Deep Dish's gigs before and they spin fierce. Word. Plus, the Ex-Boyfriend has been heavily promoting their records Sacramento, Say Hello and Dreams ft. Stevie Nicks on Dance Department this last year, so you might say he’s a fan (sort of).

Line-up: Ali "Dubfire" Shirazinia (Deep Dish, the one on the...left. I think...), King Unique, Sebastian Leger, Stef Vrolijk and Nick K.

For all you Dutch bitches or all you bitches in the Netherlands around New Year's: check out 't Paard van Troje website. Ya'll need to buy tickets (or steal them...ssssh) and get your asses up the horse's ass on NYE ! It's gonna be fierce !

Bits of wisdom

2005-12-28T13:24:00.000+01:00

"Here are some bits of wisdom I picked up over the years from people, books and film. Wherever possible I’ve made attribution.

Please feel free to leave your own little nuggets of wisdom in the comments secttion..."

Check out waitterrant.net

2005-12-26T15:52:00.000+01:00

God, was zijn de kerstdagen toch de ultieme manier om op familiediners te laten zien wie er het meest succesvol en het meest gelukkig is. Ja, jij hebt de geilste en beste camera met de meeste megapixels en ja, jij hebt deze kerst de duurste outfit. Ja, jouw kinderen zijn het allerknapst en ja, jij hebt dit jaar de beste plastische chirurgie gehad. Tjah, dat je drie maanden niet meer kunt eten omdat je een nieuw fototoestel en/of kleding hebt gekocht laten we achterwege. En dat je kinderen een Iq/EQ hebben van 26 daar hebben we het ook niet over. Laat staan over je vriendinnetje die op de wc coke aan het snuiven is en het feit dat je zo onzeker bent dat je daarom maar je hoofd naar je reet moet laten liften.

Als we nou het hele jaar eens normaal tegen elkaar zouden proberen te doen, dan was die hele kut-Kerst - zoals hij er vandaag de dag is: een grote commercieel uitgebuitte façade waar we worden gedwongen om maar te bewijzen dat wij het zijn die het meeste van ons leven hebben gemaakt - helemaal nergens voor nodig. En snuif je coke gewoon in een wc in een of ander lounge café of discotheek, zoals alle andere normale mensen.

En sowieso heb ik toch de allergrootste. Dus dát.

Something in the air

2005-12-24T14:01:00.000+01:00

I saw this piece on NOVA – Dutch show about politics – last night about the working poor. I must admit that I was kind of surprised about how poverty among the working still exists in the Netherlands. I knew some people are still having a hard time financially, but I never thought it’d be like this.

The working poor have to think about every single Euro they spend: they can only afford second-hand clothing (if they can afford to buy clothing at all), their kids can’t play sports, do not get an allowance, some have only one light bulb in their apartment to save money, some don’t even have furniture and it is hard for them to apply for subsidies because they often make just a few Euros too much to be considered for, for example, rent subsidies. And now that the government has implemented a new health care system, they are about to face even harder times.

"The last time I bought a winter coat was eight years ago. A while back someone gave me 50 Euros to buy a new one. I'm warm again." Says a mother of two.

Fucking breaks my heart.

What struck me the most, is that the men and women featured in this documentary were all so very positive. Yes, they’re having a hard time, but they’re not going to whine and bitch about it. They work, pay taxes, pay off debts, give to charity and try to make the best of it.

It just makes you think. While I often complain about how I don’t have enough money to buy 90 Euro pants, they’re struggling to get fucking food on the table every day. It’s unfair and it makes the expensive pants a lot less attractive knowing the money that is spend on those pants, could mean a fucking extra lamp and a hell of a lot more food for the sweet African lady who has only one light bulb in her apartment and sometimes goes a day without eating at all.

I went to the mall with my mother today and bought flowers for my dad and his wife, because the Ex-Boyfriend and I are going to dinner there tomorrow. There’s always this lady standing by the entrance, selling homeless papers. We often say hi to each other and exchange pleasantries. After that we go our separate ways and after a few minutes of wondering about what her story is and how she got to where she is now, the memory of her fades and I continue my everyday life.

Today I gave her my last few Euros. I figured I don’t need it as much as she does. And because of that, she deserved that money a hell of a lot more than I did.

And you know what ? The feeling of knowing that the paper lady is having it a little easier because I stopped thinking soley about my own ass, beats the feeling of buying expensive clothes any day.

Announcement

2005-12-23T23:59:00.000+01:00

Don’t worry, I’m not going all Dutch on your asses. Berkeley and Beta Boy will also be posting on this blog from now on, since they're too ~~stupid~~ ~~lazy~~ busy to build one of their own. They will be posting exclusively in Dutch, whereas I will keep posting in English – because to me, Dutch is still a BS language.

I’m out.

Wisseltruu©k

2005-12-23T18:06:00.000+01:00

Boo.

Tamara Brinkman - je weet wel, ex-soapie en leuk meisje van de commercials over het nieuwe zorgstelsel - is van de week ontslagen bij Radio538. Ze was de sidekick van Ruud de Wild in het radioprogramma ruuddewild.nl. Ze wordt nu vervangen door Kimberly – het trutje dat enkele jaren geleden nog bij Rick van Velthuysen in het programma Weekend Rick zat met dank aan oom John de M. - ja, die ja. De reden van deze switch was dat Tamara niet bij het programma paste.

WTF ?

Tamara is leuk en grappig. En ze heeft ervoor gezorgd dat ik me ging verdiepen in het nieuwe zorgstelsel. Nou, als je dat voor elkaar krijgt, dan verdien je gewoon respect. Punt.

Grootte doet er niet toe

2005-12-21T21:58:00.000+01:00

Je vraagt je soms weleens af of spammails betreffende penisvergrotingen bedoeld zijn om mannen onzeker te maken.

Wat ik me dan eigenlijk nog meer afvraag, is of er dan ook mannen zijn die daar inderdaad onzeker van worden en daadwerkelijk van die zogenaamde penisvergrotende pillen slash pompen slash drankjes slash crémes slash hangijzers bestellen - denkende dat ze er inderdaad een grotere lul van krijgen.

Hoe ~~wanhopig~~ naïef kun je zijn ?

Grote piemels zijn sowieso overschat. Net als kerstbomen. Zo doelloos.

Holiday-ie

2005-12-14T17:24:00.000+01:00

Aaah, school is dunzo ! No more law and economics for two whole weeks and four whole days. Fuck I needed this break.

The results of my two midterms will be in next week - which in University language means “next week, or the week after that, or the week after that, but really it means you’ll get the results whenever we feel like working”. But I’m not complaining. I’m going to move on the bigger and better things (keeping my thumbs crossed) someday and they’ll still be working there until they die, or retire, or get fired for incompetence, stealing and/or statutory rape. Because I know that slut is sleeping with her students and I know not all of them are +18.

She's so hot.

I’ll probably pass the Economics midterm, the professor seems to be really fond of me and Ryan. But not in a weird sick kind of way. I don’t get it, we haven’t really been attending his classes like…ever, but every time we do show up, he’s always asking us how school is going and if we think he’s doing a good job at giving lectures and shit.

Why does he care about what I think ? I don’t even care about what I think. Weird.

Still studying my ass off

2005-12-07T22:41:00.000+01:00

The little toe on my right foot does not want to move. At all. It doesn’t bend or anything. Is that weird ? I think it has always been limp, but I just noticed it today. Or it might have something to do with the fact that I bump my foot into crap all the time. I feel self-handicapped. I’m just glad I have a limp toe instead of a limp dick.

And check this guy out. I don’t know what it is, but he’s got this thing going on. I think my ex-boyfriend used to bang him. Not The Ex-Boyfriend, but another one. I can’t blame him though, I’d hit it. They broke up before that guy went to Bali. Hell, I would too. You don't want your man coming back from some Asian country with all kinds of foreign STD's and HIV.

Not that you can't get that here, but I don't trust people in poor countries.

Hansom Rob introduced me to the world of Torrent or something. It doesn't matter what it's called anyway, it allows me to download endless amounts of porn. And that is always a good thing.

I've also ~~downloaded~~ bought a few albums with it:

Girls Aloud - Chemistry
Kate Bush - Aerial
Shakira - Fijacion Oral Vol. 1/Oral Fixation Vol. 2
Gorillaz - Demon Days
Anastacia - Pieces of a Dream [Limited Edition]
Katie Melua - Call off the Search / Piece by Piece
Alter Ego - Transphormed
Fischerspooner - Odyssey [Limited Edition] / #1
Ladytron - Witching Hour
Will Young - Keep On
Don McLean - Legendary Songs of Don McClean
Princess Superstar - My Machine (produced by Stuart Price/Jacques Lu Cont. Does that fucker ever get any sleep ? He's recently produced several albums/tracks from artists such as Starsailor, Kylie, Madonna, Roksöpp, Depeche Mode, Juliet. What a whore.)
Starsailor- On The Outside
Rachel Stevens - Come and get it
T. Raumschmiere - Blitzkrieg Pop [Enhanced]
Gorillaz - Demon Days
Depeche Mode - Playing the Angel
LCD Soundsystem - LCD Soundsystem
Magnolia OST
Vanilla Sky OST
Brokedown Palace OST

I'll spare you the titles of all the porn I now own. Titles don't matter anyway in porn. It's about what's inside that counts. And that includes what's inside someone's pants.

I know, some of the albums are terrible and I don't even know why I'm ~~downloading~~ buying all this crap. Usually I get all the music from the Ex-Boyfriend, but seeing an album being downloaded withing 13 minutes is just a major turn-on.

I'm bragging, aren't I ? My mom's crazy, I'm allowed.

Ps: Ya'll, I'm still studying really hard ! Give a homo a break okay ? And buy me this phone.

I heart retro calculators that are actually really secretly in the closet phones.

Stop stealing my shit Kelly

2005-12-06T18:31:00.000+01:00

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side

So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

-----------------------------------------------------------

FU. Fuck. You. If I ever catch you stealing my shit again, I will cut you.

She's still not dead yet

2005-12-01T17:20:00.000+01:00

I am denied sex no longer. I was cut off for like…three days. It was hard. Pun intended again. Now The Ex-Boyfriend and I are making sassy homosexual love again. It is great. Except when a certain person shoots his stuff on the blankets. That is just nasty. And I can’t keep changing the sheets all day long every day.

Aiming is the key.

My mom got institutionalised yesterday, for the second time. It's that time of year again I guess.

See, my mom has secretly been in contact with her childhood sweetheart over the phone. He left her fifteen year old black ass way back when he emigrated to the US – for she was black. He is currently living in China with his wife. His kids are living in the US and the Netherlands.

My mom and him have been calling each other for over a year now, but we [stepfather and I] only found out about it a couple of months ago. She had been keeping it a secret and she created yet another reason for us not to trust her. Everything would have been fine if she hadn’t been sneaking around but alas, she had.

After I got out of the shower I heard my mom talking in the bedroom. I knew she was talking to the bastard because when she does, her voice is suddenly all soft and 800-HORNYTEENS like. It is disgusting. I continued my usual morning routine when I suddenly heard someone moaning. I didn’t even need to listen by the door, because a bitch was fucking loud. They were having phone sex.

Already repulsed as I was, I suddenly heard her moan:

“I want you to cum on my face.”

There are a lot of things kids do not ever need to hear from their parents or find out about them. I think this would be on top of the list – my list anyway. Grossed out, I continued my routine and the Ex-Boyfriend and I left for the hospital half an hour later.

When we got back I asked my mom what she was talking about with the bastard. The stepfatherhad told me not to confront her with stuff like this, but I couldn’t resist. She said he was a friend and they just talked about life, marriage and shit like that. I asked her again. She lied. I asked her again. She kept lying, but in a louder tone of voice. This continued for a while until she finally went mental and started screaming while she was rampaging through the house:

“Get out of my life ! You [my stepfather and I] are always on my back ! Stop controlling me and my life ! Get out ! I’m leaving. Leave me the fuck alone. I’m telling you the truth, but you never believe me. We are just friends ! I’m fucking leaving and never coming back. You know what, I’m going to commit suicide.”

I felt that this was getting out of hand since I’ve never seen my bipolar borderline mom like this. She started getting really aggressive and was still yelling about leaving and throwing herself in front of a train. I went to get my neighbour – mom’s best friend – and she tried to calm her down. It didn’t work and after she threw several household commodities around the house, screamed we needed to leave her the fuck alone and started tapping her wrists with knives (plural), she got her coat and left the house.

After half an hour she was back again. My mom’s friend found her and got her to come home again. By this time, the police were already at my house because we called them. I was afraid she was going to attack them, but she just walked in, grabbed a bottle of red wine, yelled something like “Get the fuck out of my house !”, slammed the door and walked upstairs to her bedroom.

The police men left and the Ex-Boyfriend and I went to get a cup of tea at my mom’s best friend’s house. She thought it would be better if we'd leave her alone. My stepfather came home shortly after (he was early). I called him this morning to tell him his wife was having phone sex with her ex and he should dump her skanky ass and put himself on top of is priority list again. I meant it.

When I got home my mom was absolutely wasted. She was stumbling all over the place, still yelling and cursing – or at least trying to. My stepfather was calm, smoking a ciggie and sitting at the dining room table trying to get hold of several institutions (GP, crazy house etc) attempting to find out what to do next.

My mom came downstairs at one point and we started arguing again. I’ll try and summarize some of the things she said:

“I’m not fucking him. He lives in China and he’s happily married to his wife. We’re not fucking. He doesn’t want to fuck me. I want to fuck him, but he doesn’t want to fuck me. So we’re not fucking. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah, we had phone sex. So what ? It was good. I liked feeling my fingers in my **** while hearing his voice. I thought about getting fucked by him. It was so good.”

“He was my first love, but you [me] wouldn’t understand that. You don’t know how to love. You dumped the Ex-Boyfriend as if he were garbage. You never loved him. you’re incapable of loving anyone. You’re using him. Ex-Boyfriend, you’re a fucking fool letting him use you like this. I hope you find a new boyfriend and you do it in front of his face [what the fuck does that mean ? Fucking drunk]. Break his fucking heart. He deserves is.”

“You don’t care about anyone. You can’t. You only care about yourself. Me, me, me, me. Not much room for other people in there. You’re an arrogant, selfish, uncaring, cold, nosy egocentric bastard. You have no one.”

“I’m going to commit suicide. Just so you can feel guilty. You only love me because I’m mental [I once told her she needed to get it through to her head that she is mentally unstable]. Oooh, my mental mom is so pathetic, I have to love her. Well you can all go fuck yourselves. I’ll kill myself and leave all of you with guilt. Guilt that will consume all of you. Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do.”

“I wish I never had you. I should’ve taken the house when your father and I got divorced, and left you with him. Fuck I was so stupid back then. You always tell me I should be a role model and that I’m a bad mother. Fucking leave then ! I’m not making you stay. Get the fuck out of here. I don’t care if you have to sleep under a bridge.”

“I don’t know why you’re still here. You could have left years ago [years ago ? I'm nineteen. I was five back then]. That doesn’t matter. You could have left. And you still can.”

“I didn’t even want to have you. You were an accident.”

“I should’ve offed myself a long time ago.”

“I should’ve killed you a long time ago.”

I don’t do drama. Can you imagine your mom saying all this to you ? I can. I’ve heard it all before. It affected me very little actually. I thought it would hurt. That it would ache inside. It didn’t and it doesn’t.

I also got bitched at by my stepfather. It was all my fault and I should have never tackled this issue. Fuck that. Crap like that is bound to come out sooner or later. If it’s not now, it’s tomorrow, if not tomorrow then next week. But he didn’t want to hear it. I understand him though. He was very upset. Besides, I’m too uncaring to give a rats ass, according to mental mom (note the alliteration).

She left with my stepfather for the psychiatrist’s office at 3pm and got voluntarily institutionalised shortly thereafter. And it was about fucking time. If she hadn’t left yesterday, I’d surely have offed her myself. She doesn’t deserve to live. And I mean that too. She has not only ruined her own life, but also the life of my father (when she cheated on him with the same man who she’s having booty calls with right now), the life of my stepfather and my own.

My mom and I are very much alike in fact. And that frightens me. It becomes more evident every single day. It’s an upsetting prospect. My mom partly shaped me into the person that I am today – and I don’t mean that in a positive way at all. I could have been so much more if she hadn’t screwed everything up. I’m not the person I’d like to be – the person I was supposed to become. I need him.

My stepfather wants me to see someone again - counselling. I think that would be a good idea. I don’t want to end up being just like her. I can’t.

I truly wish she was dead. Or gone forever. Not that it would make all the problems go away, it’s just that she deserves to die for slowly killing every positive aspect of me, from the moment I was born.

Update: Ya'll should totally get FireFox. It's way hotter than Internet Explorer. And it has themes. I currently have the iFox theme, which has the same look as Mac OSX on Apple computers. I've wacked off on it many times now. Click here and here to read why you should get FireFox.

I'm not dead, stop smiling

2005-11-29T23:53:00.000+01:00

This University thing is getting out of hand. I have midterms the next two weeks. Bitches got my ass studying - hard. Pun intended.

I'm not going to pass though. It's a lot. Word on the street is Dutch students are to spend an average 7 hours a day studying (seminars and lectures included). WTF ? I barely make 8 hours in one week - if I decide to go to class at all.

I would like to speak to that one person that spends 49 hours a week studying. Have you no life ? I'm not saying I have one, but I could have. If I had an attractive personality. Or money. Or friends.

Eat that.

And what is also getting out of hand - my mobile phone bill. It is high. Like, really high. I am addicted to my Nokia. I use it more often than I use my pipi. I really don't, but I'm trying to emphasize my addiction. And my fingers are hurting from all the messaging. Seriously, if I were straight, I'd totally have lost the ability to get my girl off with these magic fingers. Those bitches'd be spastic. Or is that a good thing ?

One last thing, I'm single again. Will you have sex with me ? The Ex-Boyfriend is denying me sex. All the sex. I'm not even getting any hand action. Nothing. I need a mercy-fuck. Bad. So feel free to contact me if you're hot, horny and available. I'd like to say single, but frankly I couldn't five a fuck.

Ps: Snakey, it's kind of warm in here. Shall I remove my pants ?

Bret Easton Ellis

2005-11-24T20:35:00.000+01:00

I’ve found a new obsession, his name is Bret Easton Ellis and he’s an accomplished writer. He’s the author of American Psycho, Lunar Park, Glamorama, Less Than Zero, The Rules Of Attraction and The Informers.

Not only is he an amazing writer, he’s also fucking nuts.

Veronica Magazine (a Dutch television guide) had an interview with Bret and it was published this week:

----------------------------------------------------------

Bret Easton Ellis in Therapy

Author Bret Easton Ellis shocked the world with American Psycho and Glamorama. He’s currently touring around the world to promote his new novel Lunar Park. All by himself, with a stash of pills by his side to get through the day. “I’m actually a very upbeat person.”

Your books are extremely violent. Are people often afraid of you?
“Yes. They often think I’m a really dark person, while I’m actually a very upbeat person. But in my books I am attracted to darker subjects. What’s so confusing about that? I know tons of guys who appear in extremely violent movies, when in real life, they’re just nice guys. The same with the aggressive bastards that appear in romantic movies…”

Oh, who are we talking about then?
“I’m not naming people. I won’t even say something bad about Tom Cruise.”

You loathe celebrities?
“Yes. And our fascination for those people disgusts me. What is so interesting about the whole Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston issue? They’re three not very good actors and Brad is an asshole who cheated on his wife.”

You said you wouldn’t drop names…
“Well, Brad Pitt could have had the lead part in the movie Lunar Park, but he refused. I must admit I was quite upset about that. I think he’s very cute and naturally he’s really gorgeous too.”

Has love been good to you?
“No. Nobody wants to have a relationship with Bret Easton Ellis. Especially when a new book of his is released. Nobody wants to be my boyfriend. They know I’ll have to do promotion tours and they'll be afraid I’d cheat.”

Don't you?
“Not on this tour. I’m too tired. But it has happened, and it was a disaster. I know writers that screw everything that breathes when they’re on tour - entire orgies. I’m too tired for that, and I have a tighter schedule.”

You don’t make your own?
“No, I have to do these interviews to sell more books. I’m not a rich man, I have enough money to live off on until my next book gets published.”

What are you doing after the tour?
“Maybe I’ll have myself checked into a rehab clinic.”

What are you addicted too?
“I’m addicted to alcohol and pills. I need those pills to fall asleep, to wake up and to do interviews.”

How many did you take today?
“Two.”

Why are you putting yourself through the hassle of a book tour?
“I have to promote my book to make money. But I’m just so tired. A few days ago I had a meltdown at an airport. I just did a book signing session for about a thousand people. I had eaten one sandwich and had taken one pill. There was some kind of problem with my seating arrangements on the plane. I just started shouting and cursing: Fuck all of you! Leave me the fuck alone! It turned out to be a small misunderstanding. I locked myself in the bathroom and started crying. I cried throughout the entire flight, I couldn’t stop. It is so exhausting, the travelling, the hours, the people you meet… But it’s my job, I make a living out of this. And I’m not complaining though! I’m just trying to express my feelings to you.”

Maybe you should’ve taken some of your friends with you…
“I’ve tried, but that’s not working out. They feel excluded and see another side of me that’s very unattractive. It’s disgusting. They become suspicious and they hate groupies. I’m irritable and don’t want to talk to anyone…it’s just not fun at all. I have to do this alone.”

Your publisher thinks it’s time to end this interview…
“Wow, that was really therapeutic! I can’t believe everything I just told you!”

----------------------------------------------------------

I know, the translation sucks, but what do you expect? It was English at first, then it was translated into Dutch and now I'm translating it back again. I knew it'd be shit.

I’m in love though. The guy isn't very attractive and could possibly be my father, but I’d still hit it. I love men who are more fucked up than me. There are only a few you know and they are fascinating.

More Bret Easton Ellis information:
Official Website
Wikipedia
IMDB

Starstyle: The Naked Issue Exclusive Photos

2005-11-18T20:00:00.000+01:00

BRING ON THE D-LISTERS

Bitches, I've got new and exclusive pictures from the upcoming December edition of Starstyle, Starstyle: The Naked Issue. Don't tell anyone though because someone will cut me if they find out. It's our little secret, k ?

This is the third time Starstyle has succeeded in getting a few Dutch 'celebrities' (I use the word “celebrities” loosely of course) to appear butt nekkid (sort of) in their monthly magazine.
I'm sorry in advance for going all Pink is the New Blog on your asses (in green), but I don't know how to make a tag. Or a water mark. And people steal ya'll (unlike me..I copy). So that is my reason.

Enjoy people (or don't).

Click image to enlarge picture & open in a new window.

From left to right: René, Jay & Jimmy, Paradise Hotel The Netherlands/Belgium.

Curt Fortin, TOTP host/actor/model/singer.

Koen Jan Willem Brouwer, dancer.

Don Diabolo, DJ/Producer.

Glen Helder, soccer player.

Jody Bernal, singer.

Tom Mickers, dancer.

Lindo Duval, Radio538 Host.

Lange Frans, rapper.

Christophe Haddad, soap opera actor.

Dennis Weening, MTV Host.

Victor Coral, DJ.

Aram van de Rest, soap opera actor.

I have to say, I’m not really feeling the shoot. I don't particularly like the way some of the men are photographed and most of the poses are pretty retarded. Plus, some of the guys shouldn’t even appear in a magazine fully dressed, let alone naked.

Behind the Photoshop madness: a certain person had the Photoshop department spend more time on his photo than they spent on all the photos together, that person certainly does not look anything like me :), someone had a Photoshop tummy-tuck, someone didn’t have his picture altered at all, another someone had something enlarged and the last someone had abs painted on him.

Isn’t anything real anymore ? And why do I even bother asking.

Sigh.

And with this much Photoshopping and air-brushing going on, you would expect a far better result. Or maybe, the result would've been better if some people had hit the gym before showing off their stuff. Or maybe they should've been better looking. Or maybe they shouldn't have been D-Listers. Or they should have had a paper bag over their heads. And wearing long trench-coats. Now that would be an awesome photoshoot !

But not all is negative.

Photos that were okay: Curt Fortin (fuck I hate admitting that ! I look hotter nekkid though. And clothed too. Even covered in feces I'd look hotter. So, all the time really. People often confuse me with him, which is an insult people. He does not look like that in the real world.), Koen Jan Willem Brouwer (a bitch's ass is out of this world fo shizzle) , Don Diabolo (that is one hot motherfucker), Tom Mickers (wow he has a really long...arm), Lange Frans (very pimpin' baby, fo sho), Christophe Haddad (without the body hair though, that shit is just nasty) and Dennis Weening (the man must be the owner of a pair of huge ass balls [no pun intended] for appearing like this in a magazine people actually ~~jerk off on~~ read).

But you guys should form your own opinions. Mine is overrated.

Bitch away !

Ps: Pictures by Carli Hermés, "courtesy" of Starstyle Magazine.

Fuck, full-on, is that one or two words ?

E-mail me if you'd like to have the un-edited pictures and I'll send them to you.

Confessions on a gay ass blog

2005-11-15T22:58:00.000+01:00

I usually do not particularly care for Madonna - she has made some good records, but I'm not a fan or anything.

I have to admit - Confessions on a Dancefloor is an excellent album. I finally got myself to listen to it, and I was pleasantly surprised.

Yes, I'm getting my ass on the band wagon by joining all (gay) Madonna worshippers - maybe. I refuse to call her Madge or Her Madgesty. She's Madonna. And she's still an American slut. And her accent is annoying. Bitch, don't even try and be British.

Anyhoo, I both like and dislike the fact that the album is basically one large track. It's great for people who like to listen to albums from track 1 to the last one. But I like my music shuffeled and this album kind of fucks that up.

The lyrics...are...special. 'Stop eating the paste' special ? Sometimes. Let's review shall we? We shall.

Hung up, kind of over it. Great vocals, great lyrics, great instrumental arrangements, catchy, but also getting kind of annoying. It's old. Bring on something new.

Get Together, sad feel to it (love that), not one of the best songs on the album, familiar arrangements (similar = stolen), vocals and lyrics are only so-so, but still...catchy. She can get away with anything it seems.

Dutch 101

In the intro of Sorry (great track though) Madonna is saying 'sorry' in different languages. She also says it in Dutch. Well, she thinks she's saying 'sorry' in Dutch: ik ben droevig. Ik is pronounced as ick. Ben is pronounced as Ben (the name) and droevig is a little more difficult. Take the first 4 letters of drool and just vig. Sorta. But that is not the point, ik ben droevig means I am sad, not I am sorry. That would be het spijt me in Dutch. Het is pronounced as hat, spijt as spite and me as the first past of nuh-uh with an m (muh). Again...sort of.

Dutch is a great language.

The point: Madonna is going to sue someone's ass. Or fire them. Or have them assasinated.

I love New York is just whack, hot, but whack. Come on:

I don't like cities
But I like New York
Other places make me feel like a dork
Los Angels is for people who sleep
Paris and London, baby you can't keep
Other cities always make me mad
Other places always make me sad
No other city ever made me glad
Except New York
I love New York
I love New York
I love New York

Anyone can write a song, evidently. Even that special boy next door from Madonna evidently.

Future Lovers, the repeated scentence over and over and over and over again is pretty annoying. Not the greatest hook. The arrangements of the instruments sound really familiar - as in Roger Good - In the Beginning (Ferry Corsten Mix). Exactly the same bass-line. Music = cool (although copied for the most part), vocals = forgettable.

Let it will be...is it me or does that mean nothing at all ? Or maybe I'm just not down with all that street-talk you kids use - fuck, I'm old.

Forbidden Love, do not care for it at all. Hate it. Toss it.

Jump and How High, love them ! Jump has a really good chorus and How High gives off a postitive Kylie vibe.

Isaac, I like "deep" music, but I Isaac I just did not get. Not the vocals and not the music.

Push, fades in comparison to the other tracks.

Like it or not, like it, not particularly special.

Stuart Price a.k.a. Jaques lu cont a.k.a. Les Rythmes Digitales a.k.a. Thin White Duke produced most of the tracks on the album. He used to play bass guitar for Madonna while on tour when he was 16. He also appeared on the her albums since 1990's I'm Breathless album, doing musical arrangements, drums and bass.

This might explain why the album has an overall Kylie feel to it (or the other way around) since it is rumoured that Stuart Price has worked on many of Kylie's albums also.

But to get to what I wanted to say in the first place: Confessions on a Dancefloor is one of the best albums that has been released lately.

Ps: reviews are still overrated. And so is this one. They suck.

They got banned ya'll

2005-11-10T15:52:00.000+01:00

Buma/Stemra (music rights in the Netherlands) has declared the Dance Department Podcast and every other commercial Podcast in which music is played, illegal.

I don’t have the specific details, but it seems that in the future, every record they play on the Podcast has to be cleared by the record company.

Dance Department is not going to stop producing this Podcast though. It will still be available in the iTunes Music Store.

Dance Department will soon start [...] I've been kindly asked to remove this information.

I will update as soon as I have more news.

Messin' about

2005-11-02T20:02:00.000+01:00

Just thought you'd might like to know, I passed my Trade & Finance course. I got a 60 which was far higher than I had anticipated. That is what you get for being interesting.

Crap. I should’ve blown the professor when I had the chance. That would’ve gotten me a 98 easily.

Anyway, glad that shit is all in the past now. Next up: Public Finances. Or State Finances. Whatever it's called, if you're smart, you'll know what I mean. We have two professors for that course.

Damn there will be a lot of sucking ~~off~~ up the next few weeks.

More hot news: I have a little crush on my neighbour from across the street. He and his wife and son came over for dinner tonight.

He’s married. Isn’t that hot?

He’s not really that handsome or anything. It’s just that he has this thing that makes him very adorable. By adorable I naturally mean fuckable. And he’s a truck driver. But not one of them big bellied smelly hairy ones. He would be the Mona Lisa of truck drivers.

Geez, that sounded gay. I need to work on my analogies.

The point is: I would definitely want to check out his "truck".

Legend of Zorro is a cunt

2005-10-30T01:38:00.000+02:00

One word:

Don't go.

Oh. Those were two words. Or three?

Anyway, it was so bad it wasn't even funny. Although sometimes it actually was funny. But that was only because they wanted it to be funny.

And people kept laughing at stupid funny stuff. That is just plain annoying. Yeah, so the horse drinks alcohol, burps and smokes pipe.

WTF. It is not a cartoon. It is whorse abuse. And lame too.

Lame + abuse = not funny.

Catherine Zeta-Jones looked kind of fat and her titties were too low. The kid was just bugging me. He looks like me when I was his age. It is now that I understand why my parents tried to lose me at the mall all the time.

The 'bad' guy with wooden teeth was too retarded for words and the French bastard did not even have a French accent. What is up with that? Don't even get me started on Cathy's (we're close like that) over-acted accent which she sometimes just kinda forgot.

Keep the shit consistent.

And French bastard's eyes are scary !

The movie had the lamest plot ever and villains are just plain moronic.

This is the worst movie review ever.

They are overrated anyway. Just like Zorro.

It's late

2005-10-28T01:27:00.000+02:00

Economics was a cunt. A big one.

Neh, wasn’t so bad actually. The midterm consisted of twenty questions divided into seven assigments. They were hardcore man.

WTO ? GATT ? Heckscher Ohnlin ? What ? I ain’t never heard of such crap. Endowment? Yeah, that just makes me piss my pants every time I see that word.

It is so dirty.

Thank fuck I was allowed to drop an assignment because of the excellent papers I handed in the past six weeks.

The prof thinks I’m interesting.

Well, he thinks my papers are, which is totally the same thing. But he’s crazy. I’m just an idiot. But I’m such an idiot that when I write, people don’t get it and assume it’s intelligent, hence interesting, because I look so damn smart.

No. That can’t be it.

Hell, my prof likes me. Boo-ya, I’m passing Trade & Finance and my work here is done.

The Release Dance Awards were nice. We had a VIP table and some slut that kept bringing us champagne and food. Damn, she was so eager to please, I bet I could have gotten a blow-job out of that her.

Damn me for not being straight.

Dance Department didn’t win. Bastards. This was all so set-up. Some local radio show won Best Dance Program. The fuckers have like seventeen people listening to that crap they’re playing. What is up with that?

Wessel, DJ on Dance Department, wasn’t even there. Geez, I wonder why. He probably already knew. The man has got a weird sense of humour having us go to this fucking event to not win.

If it weren’t for the booze and food, I’d be pissed. But beggars can’t be choosers.

Fucking hell.

“I did not raise him to be a child molester.”

Bitch, you don’t need to tell Dr. Phil that. Like we all don’t know you did not raise it to be a child molester? And if you did you might as well fess the fuck up cuz you on Dr. Phil anyway.

I hate Dr. Phil.

----------------------------------------------------------

Top 10 DJ’s 2005-10-28

1. Paul van Dyk
2. Tiësto
3. Armin van Buren
4. Sasha
5. Ferry Corsten
6. John Digweed
7. Hernan Catteneo
8. Deep Dish
9. ATB
10. Carl Cox

Other Mentionables in the Top100:

18. Erick Morillo
-
20. Sander Kleinenberg :)
-
22. Benny Benassi
23. Sven Väth
-
30. Steve Lawler
-
39. David Guetta
-
49. Pete Tong
-
52. Timo Maas
-
61. Armand van Helden
62. Michel de Hey
63. Jeff Mills
-
80. Nic Fanciulli

Source: DJ MAG

Want the complete list ? Click here or here.

THE MUSIC: AIMEE MANN - LOST IN SPACE

The IQ of a cunt

2005-10-25T22:23:00.000+02:00

ME: it’s a lot of shit
LC: of course it is
LC: that's why it is called studying
ME: it's like high school economics times infinity +1
ME: that hard
LC: fuck me jesus that's hard
ME: i know !
LC: that came out quite wrong
ME: i got it funny bitch
ME: you gon' burn in hell for that
ME: as am i
ME: cuz i do men
ME: something needs to happen
LC: I KNOW
LC: can you imagine this.. i haven't gone out for like two weekends
LC: what's up with that!
ME: all i do is sleep, have sex (or anything that has to do with seX), study, work, and have more sex and such
ME: really ?
ME: are you dying ?
LC: i'm so dying
LC: fuck that shit yoo we need to enjoy life
ME: don't die
LC: i can remember the days back in venice when i had 3 buckets of martini for 3 euro's a piece and i could not have been happier
LC: where did that time go
ME: someone stole it I'm SURE
LC: fuck that person
ME: i have never even had it
ME: you have had it
ME: i haven't
ME: why didn't i get it ?
LC: oow baby it was paradise
ME: i bet
ME: when's my turn ?
LC: make it your turn today
LC: or this weekend
ME: i can't make my own day
ME: someone has to do it for me
ME: i'm lazy...dont you know anything about me ?
LC: i know you are gay
LC: that's enough
LC: i hate busses
LC: don't u hate busses
LC: is busses plural for bus?
ME: it is
ME: looks weird
LC: i know
LC: it got me doubting myself
ME: buses
ME: busseses
ME: one bus
ME: two bus
ME: damnit!
ME: is it like fishes ?
ME: peoples ?
ME: sheeps ?
LC: sheeps! haha
LC: or mouses
ME: haha mouses
ME: that is hella funny
LC: i know
ME: there was this hilary duff movie
ME: raise your voice
LC: i dont see why
ME: shut it
ME: and she was like singing in a choir
ME: chore
ME: choir e ?
ME: chore ?
ME: WTF
LC: whaha
LC: we are soooo doubting ourselves tonight!
ME: anyway singing in a group of people that like...sing
ME: and they was all like singinS: joy to world and the fishES in the sea
ME: she is so dumb
ME: she sooo wrote the whole script
ME: well that was anti-climactic
ME: climaxic... what the fuck is wrong with me ?
LC: totally
LC: why is it so hot in here!
LC: goddamn it im burning up
LC: god dont let it be pre-menopause
ME: me too. i can't open the window. flies will come in and eat me
ME: i mean
ME: mosquitos
ME: mosqietos
ME: mokietos
ME: mosquitos
ME: yes
ME: i'm sure now
LC: im sure too
LC: you are a tasty treat
ME: pre-menopause ? you are so crazy
ME: that won't happen for like
ME: a two years
ME: A two years ?
LC: hahaha
ME: A two years?
LC: you are so high on something
ME: i am so stupids
LC: STUPIDS
ME: we are like totally psychic
ME: so, did your cuntlike sister listen to the kelly cuntson cd ?
ME: since u been cunt. IT IS TOO FUNNY. i made it up you know. that is not the real title.
ME: behind my hazel cunts
ME: WHA HA HA
LC: i copied it like 3 times for me and my two friends and we listen to it daily and it is helping us through our pre-menopause
LC: yeah and how about 'beautiful cunt'
ME: whahaha, are you laughing ? laugh bitch !
ME: because of CUNT
ME: I am so lame, whahaha
LC: YEAH BECAUSE OF EXACTLY THAT
ME: breakaCUNT
ME: Where is your CUNT ?
ME: CUNT me
LC: hahaha
LC: stop it
ME: i am laughin so hard
ME: i'm pissing myself
LC: A-CUNT-ED
ME: you found CUNT
LC: whahahaha
LC: that's GREAT for a t-shirt
ME: i hate myself for losing CUNT
LC: or underwear
ME: omg i am hurting
LC: yeah mah lil’ belly is hurting toooo
ME: hahaha A-Cunt-ed is funny
ME: i just got it
LC: that's sooo late
LC: hahahaha
ME: i knowwww
ME: what else is funny ?

How many things are wrong with this conversation ? I disgust me.

THE MUSIC: MADONNA - HUNG UP

Dance Department Podcast at #1

2005-10-25T20:56:00.000+02:00

Click to enlarge.

Source: Billy's computer / iTunes Music Store

Congratulations to the crew of Dance Department for reaching the number 1 position in the iTunes Music Store podcast chart. It is now the most popular podcast.

We Dutchmen kick gay ass.

The Boyfriend did a superb job, as usual, co-creating this and I couldn't have been more proud of him. The show is finally getting the international attention it deserves because they are getting positive feed-back from producers, listeners, record companies, dj’s and artists around the globe.

Mini-wave for The Boyfriend and his colleagues.

And if you haven’t subscribed to the show yet, you are missing out !

THE MUSIC: ROYKSÖPP - WHAT ELSE IS THERE ?

Reading a book

2005-10-24T20:45:00.000+02:00

I'm studying like crazy for this Trade & Finance midterm. It is not going very well.

Economics really isn't my thing. And I'm even beginning to think I don't really have a "thing".

What's your thing ?

Life would be so much easier if I just dropped out of school, hit the gym and became a stripper. Or a gigolo. I'm not sure just yet.

I'd for sure be a porn star if my cock were 9 inches long. Which it obviously isn't. I admire porn stars. No. I envy porn stars. They get to have sex and get paid for it. Sure, prostitutes do too, but being a porn star sounds so much more sophisticated. And I could so handle keeping a hard-on for a few hours. Hell, I'm having problems not having a hard-on at all.

I'm cursed really.

The weekend was fine. Worked on Friday night. Met an old gay ass friend while riding home (not old 'old' but 'kinda forgot about that person' old). Studied on Saturday. Entertained The Boyfriend 'till Sunday. Went to my dad's to go out to dinner and a movie. The wife & kids were there too. It was pleasant. We all remained civil and we had good conversations.

Anyway, The Boyfriend and I have some kind of award show we have to attend to on Wednesday evening. Dance Department has been nominated in the category 'Best Radio Dance Show' along with four other shows. No doubt they'll win. The award show is hosted in the Escape in Amsterdam.

Sander Kleinenberg will be there too. He is so hot. Let's hope he isn't bringing his wife and kid. That always sucks.

Talking about sucking and fucking (by talking I mean thinking of course), here are some keywords that will direct you to my page (evidently):

1) fuck
2) nikepro
3) will fuck for coke t shirts
4) corsten le bon fire
5) what the fuck!, mom?
6) fuck in front husband
7) mom is a bitch
8) fuck my mom
9) gay fuck bic door
10) im what to fuck fuck fuck fuck a men
11) fuck me silly
12) mexican mom like to fuck
13) coke whores
14) doing it the gay way
15) mom needs cock
16) coke cocksuckers
17) my sister fuck
18) coke and porn

People are sick. They're turning this blog into something dirty.

And speaking about dirty. What is up with all the commotion about Robbie Williams' willy ? Geez. Everyone's got one. Well, most people have one. No, that's not right either. All men...no. Most men have one. Even I have one. It is a flacid willy. Big whoop. Call me when his penis is doing a ~~homo~~ home video. Now that would be worth mentioning.

THE MUSIC: LISET ALEA - NO SLEEP

Word on the street is that I'm nice

2005-10-22T21:28:00.000+02:00

I was working at the bar last night and some upper-class bitches had something to say about my shirt. They’re regulars so I couldn’t tell them to shove their opinions up their asses.

Old wench: “Hey Billy, that T-shit that you’re wearing…”

Billy: “Yeah.”

Old wench: “Can you turn it inside out.”

I smiled.

Old wench: “I’m serious. It’s so not you. You’re such a sweet guy.”

Billy: “You really don’t know me, do you?”

Old wench: “You cannot wear that shirt working as a bartender.”

Billy: “Why not?”

Old wench: “Well, you might get in trouble.”

Billy: “Trouble?”

Old wench: “People might find it offensive. It is pretty rude you know. And it’s better that you hear it from us gals (gals ? wtf) than from somebody else.”

Billy: “Uhm, okay…”

Old wench: “It’s just not appropriate. We all thought the same thing as soon as you walked in.”

Yeah, you get that when you're sharing one brain with three friends. Dyke.

Billy: “Well, that’s your opinion. And the opinion of those ~~bitches~~ friends of yours. This shirt actually does show my personality. It’s funny. And I’m a funny guy. You shouldn’t take it seriously. And this is the first time anyone has commented on this shirt in a negative way. And also, I have worn this shirt at other jobs. It has never been a problem.”

Old wench: “All we’re saying is that it still isn’t appropriate and you should cover it up.”

Billy: “Again: that is your opinion. I’m not covering it up. There is no dress code and my boss says it’s fine. That is enough for me. I’m sorry if you feel insulted by my clothing, but that really says more about you than it does about me.”

Old wench: “But people will find it offensive.”

Billy: “No, you and your friends find it offensive. You are not ‘people’. I’m wearing the shirt. You are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine. As long as I’m doing my job right, there is nothing you should complain about. And if you girls will excuse me, I have to get back to work.”

Silence.

Billy: “So, would you 'gals' like another drink ?”

Old wench: “Yeah, on you maybe.”

Billy: “I’ll take that as a no.”

Come on people. What is this,1930 ? Some of us really need to lighten the fuck up.

And what was written on the t-shirt?

WILL
FUCK

FOR

COKE

What else?

It's funny. I will fuck for coke. I am a bartender. I sell coke (among other things). You buy a coke from me. Give it back. And I'll fuck you.

It's ironic (is it?).

What is not funny about that ?

Sigh. I should've worn Snakey's 'REAL MEN DO MEN' shirt. Apparantly, that shirt is worth congratulating someone for.

Assholes.

2005-10-20T18:31:00.000+02:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

Will ~~Shit~~ Smith.

I have no words.

I sure hope he’s playing a huge prank on the world with his new ~~hit~~ single Party Starter. What was he thinking?

Let's pray that his career in music did actually die and consider this new 'single' as a final post-mortem spasm. I am confident Switch was also one.

And will someone tell me what the fuck is so hot about that new Madonna shit Hung Up ? It has to be the name right ? I mean, Victoria Beckham would so not get away with this shit, true ?

The world has gone mad.

Fuck...I think Hung Up is kinda growing on me. Noooooo...

Dance Department in iTunes Music Store

2005-10-19T17:00:00.000+02:00

Bitches,

Dance Department (the best dance show on the planet) is now available in the iTunes Music Store. Just look up Dance Department and you’ll be able to subscribe to it.

The fuckers at Dance Dept. HQ are all very excited because Dance Department is the first official Dance show that is allowed into the Music Store. And they beat Pete Tong to the punch.

Ha ! Eat that ya British bastard.

So go subscribe now, because we need it to be #1 when it enters the Top20 Podcast chart.

Thanks !

Update: we're at ~~#15~~ ~~#13~~ ~~#11~~ #9 #2. ~~Try harder~~. Almost there!

2005-10-15T14:49:00.000+02:00

My mom's cra-zy !

Bitch needs to up her meds a lil'bit. Geez.

Made an appointment with my dermatologist yesterday. I'm gonna get me some Roaccutane. They couldn't fit me in till December 21st.

WTF.

So I went to another. They could fit me in the first of October. I guess it'll do.

Where are all the fucking dermatologists when you need them? We should import some.

2005-10-13T20:45:00.000+02:00

Fuckkk.

A post beginning with the word 'fuck' must be fun.

SCAA wants me to go to the movies again. There are only suck-ass movies. She wants to go see Four Brothers. If they're not getting it on, I just don't want to see it.

I just emailed my economics paper to my professor. I'm tired and I just want to watch porn and wank until I fall asleep nekkid.

It's the best.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day:

8:30am - stereo plays loud music to wake my ass up
9am - wake up
10am - go to college
11am - get coffee and a sandwich
11.15am - class
12.00am - break time, jerk off in bathroom
12.15pm - class
1pm - go to the doctor
2pm - doctor's appointment
2.10pm - go home
2.20pm till 5.30pm - wank, eat, pee, sleep, wank, eat, sleep, wank, pee, wash hands very well, eat, shower
5.30pm - go to work.
6pm - 12.20am - work (and probably wank)
1am - home, wank, eat, bursh teeth, wank, sleep

When will this madness stop?

2005-10-13T13:09:00.000+02:00

There was a dope bust this morning around 8:30am. A bitch friend of mine got interrupted during her sleep time (by sleep time I mean sex time) because the police were bashing in the front doors of two houses behind the street where I live.

8:30am ? Are they crazy ?

Luckily I had to get up at 7 this morning.

Anyway, a lot of marijuana came out of those houses. Smelled pretty damn good though.

Ah, who the fuck am I kidding? I have never smoked pot. Well once. When I was having a fever. It was not good.

Fever + pot = big no-no

Damn the people that live in those houses are in for a nasty surprise. And I feel sorry for the pot . It’s probably going to get incinerated. :(

We should so sell that shit.

2005-10-12T19:09:00.000+02:00

SCAA is picking me up at 9:30pm. We're going to catch a movie.

I should be studying but I'll end up in the gutter anyway. This economics thing is a lot shittier than I thought it would be. I should start reading the text book someday. It's hu-huge.

I got an army haircut again. Feels nice. Looks hot. We are all very excited. Although I am reminded of my father when I look in the mirror.

Ew.

Right now, I'm going to have a shave, a facial and a looong shower. It is my reward for almost studying.

x billy

Source: One Four

Here I am at LC's party. This was the most flattering picture I could find. I wasn't even drunk. Go figure.